I fear that if I rein my heart in, it might forget. And if I set it free toward you, it may never return.
And there I stand, between a salvation I do not want, and a perdition I know all too well… yet desire..
I don’t long for past details, because they no longer resemble me,
and because my heart no longer has room for an old wound, or for a joy that has already ended.
But sometimes, I just long for them..
I don’t know whether the distance between us is a mercy that I’ve learned to hide well,
or a cruelty mastered at disguise..
And we end up longing for escape..
What I do know,
what still haunts me like a tattoo that won’t fade,
is that when our bodies met it wasn’t as a momentary peace,
but as an open scar swallowing every attempt at healing..
I know that your leaving is inevitable just as your loving is.
And I know that a nights’ tears would be as long as laughter was,
and that today’s happiness is in fact a coming sorrow — and it is real.