Morgan Rumer

a Morgan at rest tends to stay at rest unless acted upon by an outside force

[titi @callhertiti]

Unpopular opinion: I do enjoy third wheeling if the couple is fun

[Morgan Rumer @MorganEGoetz]

@ama_a93 On your taxes you should report the income on a schedule C but then put the entire amount as an “other expense” to cancel it out, so none of it is taxed. Something like “2024 income not received”. You can report the income in the year it is received.

[Keara Sullivan @superkeara]

Me subtly trying to meet the bartender’s eye so they see I’m waiting politely and patiently and should let me order next

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

are Gap and Old Navy actually “really making some super cute things these days” or am I just old now

[Morgan Rumer @MorganEGoetz]

I hope AI can help the people making 6 figure salaries without the reading comprehension to know my name is not Megan when they write their emails.

[soup 🤍 @alorazei]

"reading smut ruins your brain" i can assure you, whatever is wrong with me was there long before i started reading

[Freddie Shanel @freddie_shanel]

your 20s are for gathering brick and wood and your 30s are all about ore and wheat

[Pastor Kyle. @itsqail]

Adult friendships are crazy cuz you’ll be asking each other shit like are u free at the end of October?

[katie @katefeetie]

“and who is your primary care doctor” buddy it’s 2024. are you also gonna ask me who my butler is or where I’ve parked my lamborghini, be for real

[Clara @colormeloverly]

sorry to be a boomer about this but i hate how we have to download an app for everything now. we used to have websites.

[Joolia Ghoulia @Jooliasez]

Hey, I found the Italian section

[Sam Jeske @Sam_Jeske]

yeah I support the troops

[Morgan Rumer @MorganEGoetz]

My sister should legally not be allowed to work on days that I don’t work. I need faster replies to my very important, stream-of-consciousness texts.

[Soren Iverson @soren_iverson]

LinkedIn nepotism disclosure

[Matt @matttookthese]

If Prince William can credit their photographer, so can your band with 500 followers

[Icona @iconawrites]

I say this as an Italian: regardless of whether you want to be a parent, children are people who belong in restaurants and cafes and libraries, and wanting them out of all public spaces has become far too disturbingly normalised in the Anglosphere.

[reb @rebmasel]

happy international womens day this speech will never not give me chills

[Morgan Rumer @MorganEGoetz]

@_AmandaAven_ The family plans are definitely the move, I’m just laughing that Harry hadn’t already been paying them for his portion.

[Morgan Rumer @MorganEGoetz]

Just found out my 30yo fiancé doesn’t pay his own phone bill. He asked if we were going to start our own plan or if he should just start paying his mom 💀