A perfect retirement plan is waking up in your mansion by the seaside, with exotic cars in the garage and a loaded bank account. Not waking up next to a woman.
Y’all simps always act like women are the prize . They’re not. The real prize is freedom, peace of mind, and financial security.
If you are avoiding your parents because you don't feel successful enough or you're too busy chasing money, understand this, when they're gone, no amount of success will undo that regret.
The hardest truth: Many women aren’t evil by accident.
They’re strategic. They use men until the man’s usefulness expires, then move on like the relationship never mattered.
The convenience of having a car where you don't have to wait in line when it's raining, you are not on someone elses time etc. If you can't afford one you hail a taxi.
The same applies to the trash in your house. You have to settle for the collectors schedule.
Another creative way of temporarily making rural roads motorable especially during the rainy season. After laying the hardcore, a concrete layer will be applied. Kang'ata is an achiever.
A lady in Likoni is allegedly offering surrogacy services at 40k per month, and according to her, ova are also available at 80k each, which is where the whole conversation starts sounding less like family planning and more like a small business pitch deck written by life itself.
From a pure business and investment angle, someone will sit down with a calculator and say 40k every month for 9 months comes to 360k, then add the 80k ova conversation on the side, while food, shelter, hospital visits, checkups and all other pregnancy-related expenses are handled by the client.
So in that model, the capital is not money sitting in a bank account, it is the body, health, time, hormones, emotions, discomfort, risk and sacrifice being put into the business. The return is 360k after 9 months, and depending on how you look at it, someone out here may call it survival, someone else may call it entrepreneurship, and another person may call it a very serious reflection of where the economy has pushed people.
Because honestly, show me another business where you can invest sweat, biology, patience and personal risk, then come out with 360k after expenses in just 9 months. Kenya is not short of business ideas at all; Kenya is short of opportunities, and every day people are being forced to convert anything they have into capital.
At this rate, even the womb has entered the investment market, and eggs are being quoted like shares on the Nairobi Securities Exchange.
Anyway, as the country continues to surprise us with new business models, Go-Wheels is still here for the normal kind of movement. For car hire, airport transfers, self-drive, events and long-term rentals, talk to us before life convinces you that every investment must come with morning sickness.