Shar

Wife of @urbaer, mother of @urbaby12 and generally okay human being

[Becky Vieira | Witty Otter @wittyotter_]

At what age are kids ready to start putting their dishes in the dishwasher themselves?
Asking for my mother-in-law.

[Cora Harrington @CoraCHarrington]

Y’all love to discuss class through the lens of, “Why can’t I consume everything I want for next to nothing?” And refuse to examine it from the perspective of, “Why the hell are clothes so cheap if actual real human beings are making them by hand?”

[Science girl @sciencegirl]

Look how this lovebird strips the leaves removing each midvein to tuck amongst its feathers for safe keeping...

rather than taking each piece home separately, this is a more efficient way of gathering and transporting nest building material

[Buitengebieden @buitengebieden]

Puppy thinks he’s a bunny.. 😊 https://t.co/0J5wuVNgcM

[edgarwright @edgarwright]

This is not a drill! This is happening!

After much musing over the years about there being potential for an anime adaptation of ‘Scott Pilgrim’, I’m thrilled to say one is IMMINENT, with the whole cast back together and… you are going to lose your minds.

[Monica Hesse @MonicaHesse]

I am in Target. I am trying to buy a photo album. I asked where they might be. Worker did not know what a photo album was. I said it was a place to keep pictures. He sent me to the tech aisle. He assumed I wanted memory to store more pictures on my phone. I am 1 billion years old

[Sorcha Ní Nia @Luiseach]

Scottish Twitter remains undefeated

[Jay Rosen @jayrosen_nyu]

You never heard of Brandolini's law? You may need this for your sanity:

"The amount of energy needed to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude bigger than that needed to produce it."

[Shar @MrsUrbaer]

Who do I know with an American Express that can get me Lizzo tickets in the Presale?

[AreYouSureAboutThat @Whirleysloth]

@Botanygeek

[Peter Combe @petercombe]

How does that catchy song go? Fix the car with sticky tape?

[Shar @MrsUrbaer]

Front of line at the Post Office, ask for a passport photo to be taken.
"All the cameras are being used, you'll have to wait a couple of minutes".
Happily waiting . . .
"You know any post office can do this?"
Yes but why would I go to another post office when I'm already in one?

[elliott @elliottgray]

become ungovernable

[Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation @OKWildlifeDept]

stranger: is this snake poisonous?

us: nah fam,

stranger: *picks up snake, gets bitten, starts foaming at the mouth*

us: it’s venomous tho

[Shar @MrsUrbaer]

It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 15 years, since 27 Feb 2008 (via @twi_age).

[Terrible Maps @TerribleMaps]

Oklahoma if it was used to express feelings

[Shar @MrsUrbaer]

@ARPy_ I just wanted to squish everything!

[Shar @MrsUrbaer]

@ARPy_ Is that in Melbourne Central?