Nicole Beckley

writer | comedy person | short stories in @FicSoutheast @PigeonPagesNYC + others. Humor in @The_Belladonnas @SlackjawHumor @Mcsweeneys

[Nicole Beckley @MsColbie]

Instead of Rome can’t Emily Cooper move to NYC and live in that Only Murders building? (Would watch a season where they have to investigate which of her exes had it out for her.)

[Nicole Beckley @MsColbie]

Not to brag, but I feel like I went pretty seamlessly from quarterlife crisis straight to midlife crisis

[Nicole Beckley @MsColbie]

Maybe it’s my main character energy, but I’ve had a few dudes come into my life this year for just a three-episode arc

[Nicole Beckley @MsColbie]

I know I’m getting older because I get a lot of texts from guys now in the morning - like, “you up?” They don’t want to hook up, they want to like, go running

[Nicole Beckley @MsColbie]

Thanks @NatHrvatin @EmilyKling2 for the assists!

[Nicole Beckley @MsColbie]

“We are probably soul mates.” Thanks, @SlackjawHumor for sharing this one! https://t.co/wYqtMHybBq

[Nicole Beckley @MsColbie]

Very nice @janineannett

[McSweeney's @mcsweeneys]

"Guns N’ Roses T-shirt: Your tween will wear this T-shirt but will not discuss Appetite for Destruction with you and will not entertain the idea that people who wear band shirts without listening to the actual bands are 'posers.'"
https://t.co/9QfVv9hLnT

[Nicole Beckley @MsColbie]

Web 1.0: Hot or Not
Web 3.0: Bot or Not

[Nicole Beckley @MsColbie]

@emenez2 @SlackjawHumor Nice!

[Nicole Beckley @MsColbie]

After every dating app date you should be able to call two of that person’s friends and fact check them

[Nicole Beckley @MsColbie]

Say what you will about Scam Likely, but at least they call.

[Nicole Beckley @MsColbie]

Whenever someone ghosts or cancels before a date, I like to assume it’s because they actually have a huge zit and are too embarrassed to be seen in public

[Nicole Beckley @MsColbie]

Are there any lit agents looking for something like “Barbie”? #amquerying

[Nicole Beckley @MsColbie]

“I don’t want to be a bottleneck” — every bottleneck

[Nicole Beckley @MsColbie]

@KateHerzlin @kerr_elson Congrats!

[Nicole Beckley @MsColbie]

Slow down, relax — got a new one via @SlackjawHumor https://t.co/nky4Rlnqrq

[Nicole Beckley @MsColbie]

@michcohn @PointsinCase Love this one!

[Nicole Beckley @MsColbie]

@AmyCurrul @SlackjawHumor Thanks, Amy!

[Nicole Beckley @MsColbie]

Thanks to @nycwriters and @nat_trf for a great writers event! Loved being part of it with @akeemkduncan and @vanessawalters - amazing!

[Nicole Beckley @MsColbie]

Tonight! Excited to be part of this @NYCWriters event!