The Mundane Adventures of Doctor Who

Come and meet the people on and around Isabella Street. I’m not one to gossip, but...

[The Mundane Adventures of Doctor Who @MundaneWho]

"Me just waiting for mummy. She nice person. She never complained when me left bath running, for three days. But it helped put out the fire me accidentally started when me was making me own fireworks. She said breastfeeding was ouchy. She be back soon, it only been eight weeks"

[The Mundane Adventures of Doctor Who @MundaneWho]

“Neighbour’s put up bunting again. Nobody knows what for.
It just appears, like mildew. Last time it was for World Tuna Awareness Week. She made cupcakes with fish in. I had to pretend I had a mouth ulcer just to get out of trying one.”

[The Mundane Adventures of Doctor Who @MundaneWho]

“You know Tina, not our Tina, the other one, with the alopecia and the voice like a lift announcement? Well she’s doing Reiki now. Tried it on the cat and it hasn’t stopped shaking. She says it’s “vibrating with potential.” I said it’s vibrating because it’s traumatised.”

[The Mundane Adventures of Doctor Who @MundaneWho]

“Woke up to find Dennis Yeti in my outside loo again. He says he only came in to get dry but he’s left a trail of Twix wrappers and what I hope is mud. I said “Dennis, you smell like a compost bin in a heatwave.” He just blinked and asked if I had any Vimto.”

[The Mundane Adventures of Doctor Who @MundaneWho]

“Went to that new health food café. £6.50 for a spirulina smoothie. I said, “I don’t trust anything that green unless it’s a traffic light.” Woman behind the counter had a septum ring and said she only eats things that haven’t known pain. I said, “Well that rules out Gregg’s.””

[The Mundane Adventures of Doctor Who @MundaneWho]

“Barely sat down when she said, “You’ve got the aura of someone who doesn’t moisturise.” I said, “That’s because I’ve been using the same flannel since Thatcher was in power.” She offered me a tub of activated kelp. Smelt like bin water.
I said I’d stick with Imperial Leather.”

[The Mundane Adventures of Doctor Who @MundaneWho]

@TDragon3000 I don’t care for parsnips.

[The Mundane Adventures of Doctor Who @MundaneWho]

“Went up to that hospital to visit our Kath. She said the lunch was “like if food had anxiety.” It was beige on beige with a jelly chaser. I brought her a copy of Take a Break and some Jelly Tots. She cried and said I’m the only person who remembers she’s allergic to lavender”

[The Mundane Adventures of Doctor Who @MundaneWho]

@2hrTV He’s a nit!

[The Mundane Adventures of Doctor Who @MundaneWho]

"I only asked him how he was to be pleasant. He said 'My bum hole's a disaster area at the moment! Every time I ride my bike it’s like someone's jackhammering a bollard up me'. Well I didn’t know where to look, I just wished him luck with his sermon on Sunday and walked off!"

[The Mundane Adventures of Doctor Who @MundaneWho]

@WhovianLeap @CrazyCaptionWho "Maude from the post office back in the 80s used to do one of those sexy chat lines. 'Listen To Me Moan!' £4 a minute to hear her complaining about the weather and how her water retention makes her feet swell up like flesh balloons. Surprising how many men listened for hours!"

[The Mundane Adventures of Doctor Who @MundaneWho]

"I’ve been up to that hospital to see Dorothy Tatt. She’s not been good for a while. She’s been walking like she’s being operated by Jim Henson. She had a huge vomiting gush. She said it did her the world of good. Not so good for the three nurses she covered!"

[The Mundane Adventures of Doctor Who @MundaneWho]

@OgronThe Merry Gruntleigh Mr Christmas! 🧐

[The Mundane Adventures of Doctor Who @MundaneWho]

@OgronThe @TheMilesBOX (He’s sleeping it off at the moment snuggling Dennis Yeti)

[The Mundane Adventures of Doctor Who @MundaneWho]

"Anyway, shut up! So this camel walks into a bar, no, a horse, yep a horse. Yep this ruddy great horse walks into a bank, er, I mean bar. Into a bloody bar! Horse! Shush! It’s a good one this! This borse walks into a har, hell's teeth! A horse into a bar, nope I’ve forgotten it!"

[The Mundane Adventures of Doctor Who @MundaneWho]

"I've been up a ladder shoving Christmas lights up into my front guttering. I know now I shouldn’t have trusted that nit Dennis Yeti to hold the ladder steady. The bumbling fur ball got distracted by a squirrel and ran off chasing it. I landed on Mrs Stroke from the Post Office"

[The Mundane Adventures of Doctor Who @MundaneWho]

@OgronThe @TheMilesBOX 🍌

[The Mundane Adventures of Doctor Who @MundaneWho]

"You’re so much cheaper than my dentist back home, plus it’s hard to find anyone who will take NHS patients. Mr Thrope is a nice enough dentist, but he does have one leg longer than the other. You come out with your teeth on a slant, my teeth ended up looking like a staircase!"

[The Mundane Adventures of Doctor Who @MundaneWho]

@OgronThe Our postman still has the lingering odour after delivering it.

[The Mundane Adventures of Doctor Who @MundaneWho]

"I’m at the end of my wick with the twits around ours. They hear one whiff I’m a doctor and they all come slamming my knocker, just because they can’t get an appointment with their GP. I’ve a pile of twenty milk bottles full of urine samples and something dodgy in a Tupperware"

[The Mundane Adventures of Doctor Who @MundaneWho]

@OgronThe @TheMilesBOX Yes! Both parts!

[The Mundane Adventures of Doctor Who @MundaneWho]

"I was up at the OAP coffee morning, up trots Millie from Bother the Elderly. Fake tan, wacky legging and River Island clutch bag. Said she had a treat for us, I thought why are you leaving? No, Bobby Biddy playing with his tiny organ and singing He Knows Me So Well, both parts!"

[The Mundane Adventures of Doctor Who @MundaneWho]

@WHOC2C Tony Danza or Top Cat.