Philip Mwangale II.

Establishing Order out of Chaos. 🇰🇪🇲🇼🇸🇸🇺🇬🇹🇿

[Philip Mwangale II. @Mwangale_II]

@keyveen Great.

[Philip Mwangale II. @Mwangale_II]

@KWSKenya @KWSKenya wacha kijana aoe 😂

[Philip Mwangale II. @Mwangale_II]

@ProfKibwana Happy New Year Prof.

[Law Society of Kenya @LawSocietyofKe]

#DoMoreForThoseWithLess

[Law Society of Kenya @LawSocietyofKe]

Ms. Stella Bosibori of the Office of the Director of Public Prosecutions walked through the prosecutor’s role in sexual and Gender based violence cases. The session mapped how to build strong cases, coordinate with investigators, evaluate evidence and keep the pursuit of justice on track from day one to verdict.

Ms. Isabella Obara Nabwire Advocate of Nabwire Obara and Company Advocates, closed the day by unpacking victim representation under the Victim Protection Act. Ms. Nabwire led the discussion on the role of the victim Counsel throughout the prosecution, covering legal protections available to survivors and elucidating how meaningful participation by counsel, can change outcomes in criminal proceedings.
#Domoreforthosewithless

[Ethan Brooks @alt_w_v_g]

Tried to log into my bank this morning

Not a new bank. My bank. The one that has my money

First it wanted my password

Wrong

Tried the other one

Wrong

Reset it

"New password cannot match any of your last 24 passwords"

That is every password I have ever used

Created a new one that I will forget next week

Then it said "please verify you are human"

I am human

I have a mortgage

I paid $52.18 for bread, milk, and eggs last week

Only a human would do that

But the bank was not convinced

"Select all squares with traffic lights"

Nine squares

Three had traffic lights

One had the edge of a traffic light pole

Maybe two pixels of yellow paint

Stared at it for a full minute

Selected it

Wrong

"Select all squares with stairs"

Two squares had stairs

One had a ramp

Is a ramp stairs

A ramp is the opposite of stairs

I selected the two obvious ones

Wrong

It wanted the ramp

I am a CFO

I've fired people with more due process than this

But I cannot pass a test designed to keep bots out of my own checking account

"Click and hold until the image stops moving"

A jigsaw puzzle piece floated across the screen

Held it

"Verification failed"

Held it for thirteen seconds

My finger cramped

"Success"

Then a new screen

"Your account has been locked due to suspicious activity"

The suspicious activity was me

Trying to access my own account

Called customer service

The phone menu had ten options

None of them were "your website thinks I am a robot"

Thirty-seven minutes on hold

The same fourteen seconds of smooth jazz

Looping

Every ninety seconds a voice told me my call was important

It did not sound important

Finally a man answered

"Thank you for holding, my name is John"

That man's name was not John

We both knew it

I did not press the issue

John asked for my mother's maiden name, my first pet, and the street I grew up on

He unlocked the account in forty seconds

Forty seconds

The bank trusts John more than me

And John does not exist

Final tally

Nineteen minutes of captchas

Thirty-seven minutes of smooth jazz

One man who was not named John

To access money that is mine

At an institution that emails me every single day asking if I want a home equity line of credit

My wife walked in

She said "what are you doing"

I said "proving to a computer that I'm not a computer"

She said "are you winning"

I said "I just spent an hour deciding if a ramp is stairs"

She said "that sounds like something a computer would do"

She wasn't wrong

She usually isn't

Plz fix. Thx.

Sent from my iPhone

[Philip Mwangale II. @Mwangale_II]

@InsecurityKE She's acknowledging that her constituents elected her asleep and have been sleeping since.

[Philip Mwangale II. @Mwangale_II]

Your right to fair trial does not include the right to have all your 17 Advocates address the Court in turn on a Bail Application.

[Philip Mwangale II. @Mwangale_II]

Most network payment systems including @SafaricomPLC MPESA are down since early morning. A total inconvenience. A failure that may be manipulated at greater scale and extended periods in the near future.

[Philip Mwangale II. @Mwangale_II]

@denniskioko Bad manners thrives in company.

[Philip Mwangale II. @Mwangale_II]

@Te_N06 Mwosho mmoja.

[Philip Mwangale II. @Mwangale_II]

@Pombembaya As a matter of fact you did😂

[Philip Mwangale II. @Mwangale_II]

It seems the only issue @SakajaJohnson has with Analo is that he was dumb enough to be caught with the cash, thereby embarrassing him and the county.

[Philip Mwangale II. @Mwangale_II]

@047County @SakajaJohnson This statement doesn't mention an Audit of all approvals done in Analo's tenure. Only explanation is the Governor was also in on it.

[Philip Mwangale II. @Mwangale_II]

@047County @SakajaJohnson This statement doesn't mention an Audit of all approvals done in Analo's tenure. Only explanation is the Governor was also in on it.

[Philip Mwangale II. @Mwangale_II]

Mind blowing! From New York to London to 'benchmark'.

[Kikonde Mwatela @KikondeMwatela]

I have so many funny stories about my mother. I remember when she got appointed acting Governor of the CBK, they had this Range Rover assigned to her. She got so pissed off about it, she hardly used it. She liked her Peugeot 504 which used to jerk from a sensitive clutch.

[Philip Mwangale II. @Mwangale_II]

@joshuamalidzo J.M. Nyawa, RSCC, JC. 😂

[Philip Mwangale II. @Mwangale_II]

"Ah! Huyo! Huyo anaanzanga Saa tano.Usingoje saa hii hata."
"Ukiona clerk wake anakunywa chai ujue leo hakuji."
These are the statements you hear at 9:30AM when you inquire whether a Magistrate is sitting.
In some stations, Court starts at 9:00AM only on the Cause List. In others that have full physical sessions, you'll only be notified that the JO is away on official duty, indisposed on that day towards 10AM.

[Philip Mwangale II. @Mwangale_II]

@LeviMunyeri There is a misconception even among Advocates that what we do is defend accused persons or even manifest criminals yet to be adjudged guilty.
We REPRESENT accused persons.