Chuck Norrisisms

#Comedy - Not Affiliated With The Official @chucknorris - #Movies Tweets Managed By @OurMarketingGuy ➔ - #

[Chuck Norrisisms @MyChuckNorris]

Every Chuck Norris joke is a five star joke just because it says Chuck Norris.

[Chuck Norrisisms @MyChuckNorris]

Chuck can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

[Chuck Norrisisms @MyChuckNorris]

Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.

[Chuck Norrisisms @MyChuckNorris]

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.

[Chuck Norrisisms @MyChuckNorris]

Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.

[Chuck Norrisisms @MyChuckNorris]

The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.

[Chuck Norrisisms @MyChuckNorris]

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

[Chuck Norrisisms @MyChuckNorris]

It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box

[Chuck Norrisisms @MyChuckNorris]

Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is called claustrophobia, and fear of Chuck Norris is just plain logic.

[Chuck Norrisisms @MyChuckNorris]

Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.

[Chuck Norrisisms @MyChuckNorris]

Chuck Norris beat Halo 1, 2, and 3 on Legendary with a broken Guitar Hero controller.

[Chuck Norrisisms @MyChuckNorris]

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

[Chuck Norrisisms @MyChuckNorris]

Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.

[Chuck Norrisisms @MyChuckNorris]

Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.

[Chuck Norrisisms @MyChuckNorris]

Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

[Chuck Norrisisms @MyChuckNorris]

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

[Chuck Norrisisms @MyChuckNorris]

Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

[Chuck Norrisisms @MyChuckNorris]

M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.

[Chuck Norrisisms @MyChuckNorris]

Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.

[Chuck Norrisisms @MyChuckNorris]

When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.