Mystery Turf Science Theater 3000

Exposing all the bad takes in turf....one Tweet at a time.

[Mystery Turf Science Theater 3000 @MysTurfSci3K]

Hopefully, the Schwartz is with you when you see this, @TurfTruth...

[World Sports USA - Turf Experts @WorldSportsCo]

Need to break down thatch? Contact us for the new @FloratineFoliar OMG - a mixture of naturally occurring enzymes that break down cellulose, the largest component of thatch.

[Mystery Turf Science Theater 3000 @MysTurfSci3K]

The Lawn Care Nut's cash register doesn't care if the grass is actively growing yet or not, @TurfTruth. #shittyadvice #faketurfie

[Mystery Turf Science Theater 3000 @MysTurfSci3K]

Does @RhizoSorb have the ability to swipe right on P as if the rhizosphere is Tinder? @TurfTruth, can you please help us understand how plants and P "hook up" with this product?

[Brianna Erdman @Brie_Erdman]

#Phosphorus uptake by plants is very inefficient. In many cases, under 50% of the phosphorus applied is actually utilized by #plants.

#RhizoSorb attracts phosphorus and maintains it in a form available for plant uptake, competing with Fe, Al, Mn, and Ca to prevent fixation.

[Mystery Turf Science Theater 3000 @MysTurfSci3K]

@AnthanElan @6r33k633k @Simonsez0420 @thegrassfactor We're all lovers here. Join the orgy.

[Mystery Turf Science Theater 3000 @MysTurfSci3K]

@AnthanElan @6r33k633k @Simonsez0420 @thegrassfactor What would you like to talk about?

[Mystery Turf Science Theater 3000 @MysTurfSci3K]

Cc: @PLGinja

Get better and try harder, BRUH.

[Mystery Turf Science Theater 3000 @MysTurfSci3K]

An early entrant for @TurfTruth Season 2. The fact @SyngentaTurf would approve this content, not even vet the person making it, AND pay him to make it. Egregiously mind-blowing! @Schwenkengolfmm @ravelda1

https://t.co/3apITpAyJW

No mention of proper timing except...

[Mystery Turf Science Theater 3000 @MysTurfSci3K]

Well, he's at it again, @TurfTruth! Allyn Hane dishing out some bad takes and even worse impressions on late season N for cool season.

[Mystery Turf Science Theater 3000 @MysTurfSci3K]

@TurfTruth @AllynHane Old Ron doubling down this morning.

[Mystery Turf Science Theater 3000 @MysTurfSci3K]

@soilfirst @BHannesson @TurfTruth @earthworksturf So apply CaCO3 to make space for hydrogen... Or just apply an acid and leach...

[Mystery Turf Science Theater 3000 @MysTurfSci3K]

Some rather profound bullshit for @TurfTruth to add to Season 1.

https://t.co/lUwrHn4PXm

[Mystery Turf Science Theater 3000 @MysTurfSci3K]

@TurfTruth You can't make this up, BUT if you're trying to sell shit we guess you can. We figure this is about an 8 for this @Lawncology video describing phosphites.

https://t.co/CpmhYVQqGv

[Mystery Turf Science Theater 3000 @MysTurfSci3K]

These people get what we have been saying.

[TurfTruth @TurfTruth]

BS=8. So much misinformation. Soil tests (especially IERs) have not been calibrated to provide accurate fert recommendations to turf. @AllynPaul #ronhenry

Please stop misleading the public.

Want to learn? Read:
https://t.co/mbihYJ19mH

https://t.co/q72F1d9yQG via @YouTube

[TurfTruth @TurfTruth]

BS=8. So much misinformation. Soil tests (especially IERs) have not been calibrated to provide accurate fert recommendations to turf. @AllynPaul #ronhenry

Please stop misleading the public.

Want to learn? Read:
https://t.co/mbihYJ19mH

https://t.co/q72F1d9yQG via @YouTube

[Mystery Turf Science Theater 3000 @MysTurfSci3K]

@TurfTruth We agree with this. Here's the issue:

How much independent research isn't completed because the means ($$$) or the methods (tech to appropriately measure/interpret all variables) simply are not there?

How do we increase the pool of funding and ramp up the tech to learn more?

[Mystery Turf Science Theater 3000 @MysTurfSci3K]

@TurfTruth your buddy @Lawncology is at it again. Sure would be great to see the data from a study that confirms the public ought to buy his product, wouldn't it? #thingsthatmakeyougohmm

https://t.co/a5qIbpZRMJ

[Mystery Turf Science Theater 3000 @MysTurfSci3K]

@GCImagazine Analytics: Counting our shit.
Synergy: Shit making other shit better.
Utilization: Using shit while we’re doing shit.
ROI: Are we saving money with this shit?
Pivot: Stop doing this shit & do other shit.
KPI: Not doing this shit will get you shit-canned.

[Mystery Turf Science Theater 3000 @MysTurfSci3K]

@GCImagazine Translation to Turfspeak:

Optimization: Getting better at shit.
Bandwidth: Can we get all this shit done?
Streamlined: Less shit to do.
Correlation: Is this the same shit?
Holistic: Our shit has strengths & weaknesses.
Efficient: Less shit to do.
Comprehensive: ALL of our shit.

[Mystery Turf Science Theater 3000 @MysTurfSci3K]

When your audience is blatantly admitting to overapplying fertilizer and even calling out your tagline in celebration, you're doing something wrong. Educate the audience on the right way instead of giving bad advice to sell more product. @JGlawncare is this acceptable?