Mark from NASAL

My NAME is MARK.

[Mark from NASAL @NASALMark]

Guess what came out today? That's right... Filling Holes! You can get it on paperback or ebook at https://t.co/jLpaqBHleD and on Amazon, but I don't know why you would, I'm not even in this one... or am I? Shit, I can't remember! #Squeezethebigends

[Mark from NASAL @NASALMark]

I keep hearing about bitcoins. Are those the things we used to exchange cash for at the arcade? If so, I think I still got one somewhere. That shit is worth $10k...booya! I gotta find that shit! #squeezethebigends

[Mark from NASAL @NASALMark]

@banksinator69 @MeetTheWTFs I thought this book was about me! How I became an important character, got a name, did all the work while everyone else f’ed off, met my two girlfriends (one being a part-time alligator) and how I shot most of the bad guys... I mean how Fred shot those guys! #squeezethebigends

[The WTF Universe @MeetTheWTFs]

Check out our trailer that we made for Meet the WTFs! Yes, it is absolutely ironic that we made a video to sell a book. So that means you HAVE to check it out now. Don't forget to #squeezethebigends

[Mark from NASAL @NASALMark]

If I think a coworker is spiraling into an appletini addiction, do I:
A. stalk and spy on her to be sure
B. confront her
C. get all employees to stage an intervention
D. take her out for appletinis
#squeezethebigends

[The WTF Universe @MeetTheWTFs]

If you’re using the hashtag #1linewed, maybe your tweet should be kept to only one line, because...you know. #WednesdayWisdom

[The WTF Universe @MeetTheWTFs]

Maxie had never eaten a banana before. Maxie paid the price, and unloaded it into a lazyboy on a redneck’s spaceship powered by millions of bottle rockets! #SomethingToDoWithFruit #squeezethebigends #shamelessselfpromotion https://t.co/JgFfHBvwM5

[Mark from NASAL @NASALMark]

I can do without the #NationalGrilledCheeseSandwichDay jokes today, you heartless assholes! #squeezethebigends

[Mark from NASAL @NASALMark]

@NASALRick You heartless piece of shit!

[Mark from NASAL @NASALMark]

@twizzlernips Google Response: You can't be half a furry. How bad do you want this? Now get back in that chair and let Fred stick his dirty needle in your face!

[Mark from NASAL @NASALMark]

@AmberGulley1 This was the last straw for the sharks. They were starting to get sick of being man's best friend anyway, but when Tom pulled this they decided to band together & start taking action. Damn you, Tom! The beach was so much better before you & Buddy came along & ruined everything.

[Mark from NASAL @NASALMark]

@NASALRick @GingerMMS No, dumbass! She was sending that to me obviously. I’ll meet ya downtown Ginger. I looked up mangia and it means to eat in Italian but don’t worry I’ll get ya something to eat if you’re hungry! Just let me know where you’ll be.

[Mark from NASAL @NASALMark]

@twizzlernips Google Response: Go to Tattoo Fred and request 'Dirty Needle Discount'

[The WTF Universe @MeetTheWTFs]

Looks like @HomeDepot is well prepared for vampire season...

[The WTF Universe @MeetTheWTFs]

It’s #WorldRatDay so let’s give a shout out to Mouse from Fire & Furry who died after being crushed by a big Russian Bear with a tiny head. Yes I know a mouse isn’t the same as a rat. But there’s no rat in the book so fuck off! https://t.co/Eh5ZZzUlYy

[Mark from NASAL @NASALMark]

@MeetTheWTFs I deny that was me in the book, I do not go to Warehouse World and I do not know how to find their terms and conditions on my phone. And I would not know that they have free samples.

[Mark from NASAL @NASALMark]

I was nearly pulled out of my depression by reading a hilarious book called ‘Fire and Furry’ but then I realized part of it was about my ex-girl. Whyyyyy?!?!!!

[The WTF Universe @MeetTheWTFs]

Check it out, WTF’ers! The next book in the WTF Universe is out today...and that’s not even a shitty April Fools’ Joke! Get it here and leave us a review about how ridiculous it is! https://t.co/4ydPfI8E6F

[Dysfunctional Veterans @DV_DVRadio]

We cannot thank these brothers enough for donating a portion of each book sell (current book) to the #DVFarm! Stay tuned to know when their interview will be on #BARRACKSTALK. Only on https://t.co/QqYoFiDmX5! https://t.co/S4uqV2lxLA

[The WTF Universe @MeetTheWTFs]

Let’s see... #ThingsPeopleTakeTooSeriously are books. That’s why we wrote ridiculous books that take you on a fun ride. It’s not Pulitzer material...or is it? Check us out at https://t.co/o0SOsw2Bd0 ... we have a two whole books published now!! That’s one more than one!