If I was completely dead in my casket at my funeral and they played boom boom boom everybody say ayooooo and then everyone at the funeral went ayoooo I promise you I would wake up
[me on my death bed]
Me: son, come closer
*my son walks to me*
Me: closer
I signal him to lean in
*my son leans in close*
Me (whispering, so close to being dead): you have no idea what it was like to watch mcdavid and draisaitl in 2021
My son: huh?
*I fucking die*
there’s absolutely no way I don’t get carried out on a stretcher from t mobile arena tonight for having too much piss in my jeans from having too much fun watching mcjeezy and draisaitl on the powerplay in the city of sin