Jim

Accountant

[Rugi @mercymurugi]

Today I learnt that someone can walk into Naivas and confidently buy a car battery. With a straight face.

[Cerebral Assassin @xysist]

First of all diesel engines require batteries that can provide large amounts of current to crank the diesel which relies on pure compression unlike petrol which has spark plugs Eg a diesel X3 requires a 700 CCA battery

You have to Check how many CCA are needed for your car battery

Secondly , Mazda has start stop system which is also another factor

[Blaze Officiel @B3laze]

The amount of work required just to be a mid fella is insane

[Kimuzi @Kimuzi_]

Hello Stranger, Called Jaymoh, allow me to tell you a story. When I was 26 years, I owned only an extension(yes, for electricity), by 27 years 9 months, I had a million in my account. By 28 years 5 months, I had less than 100k. By 30 years, I had built my mum a house.

A thread.

[Edwin H. Dande @ehdande]

There is very little to no room to bring down fuel prices… Gava already borrowed and spent kes. 300 bn against future fuel levy. And VAT is already reduced to 8%.

The expert has no room to deal.

Unfortunately, the dangers of spending future taxes thru securitization will now come out clearly and painfully.

[Ignatius @ignyharaz2]

Unatoka na Kokoto yako safi ikiwa sawa hapo Syokimau weighbridge, ukifika Gilgil wanakuambia 800Kg iende mbele 😂😂😂😂

[DBwambale @TheMutaD]

I hope the man has his phone with him 😁

[🇺🇸 🦅Simple Man 🦅🇺🇸 @Soaringeagle45]

Successes by age…

Age 4…not peeing in your pants
Age 12…having close friends
Age 16…having a drivers license
Age 18…having sex
Age 35…having money
Age 50…having money
Age 60…having sex
Age 70…having a drivers license
Age 75…having close friends
Age 80…not peeing in your pants

[Mwangî @archiemwas]

Working in Nairobi suburbs feels like every morning, you step into a version of life that looks like yours, and in the evening, you return to the one that actually is. You clock in at 8 and clock out at 5 from a 20-storey building with glass doors, biometric scans, and elevators that whisper. A few floors above you, lights are still on. People working late, because time there converts to money.

Outside, the roads are wide. You pass by Karen Office Park, then roll past The Hub, wine shops, and coffee shops selling a cup you'll never afford. You’re still in work mode. Polite. Measured. Composed. You head downtown. Britam Tower cuts the sky. For a second, it feels like you’re part of it. You’re not.

Traffic drags you further. You stop at Westlands Square, not because you need to, but to pause for a second. The commute slowly strips off the mask.

Around you is fellow lower income employees rushing to beat traffic just to get home in time to sneak in a nap. You stroll into Sarit Centre to kill time. Inside, everything is controlled, light, temperature, and spending. Outside, a guy is selling smokies next to a car worth his lifetime income. Nobody addresses it. But it’s there.

You don’t stay long. Across Waiyaki Way, Microsoft building stares at you as if to say, "You'll never work here." You board a Super Metro and pay 20 bob to Kangemi. Inside the bus, conversations switch language, not just words but weight. You put in your earpods, but you don’t play any music. Westlands is already saying enough. You stare out the window.
Somewhere in that skyline, opportunity exists but not equally. By the time you reach Kangemi, the city drops the filter. You pass by your favourite local joint, but today, you sit a second longer.

You check your phone, notifications from friends living both lives, one posting rooftop cocktails in Upper Hill, another asking for a connection, a job, a chance.

Tomorrow, you’ll iron the same shirt and return to the suburbs. You’ll speak their language and play their part, but one thing remains clear, unless you break from that place, you'll never live in their world which you spend 8 hours a day building.

[✊🏿 @mutwiriiii]

Me hupenda kuosha vyombo. Inafanyanga nikue na a smooth logical thinking process

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[Andrew k Rotich @andrewk3360]

Most farmers saizi wameachana na equity wamejaa pale kingdom bank.. Mambo pale ni shwari

[Jackson @Jacksonsrule]

Billionaires don’t have bank accounts like you and me. They have art collections,Yachts,Mansions,Stocks. None of it gets taxed until they sell it. So they just never sell it. They borrow against it instead. Live off the loans. Pay almost nothing. Then when they die, their kids inherit it all tax-free. The wealth never gets taxed, It just gets passed down.
And we wonder why the gap keeps getting wider.

[Misspreety 🤪 @Misspreety17]

Huko TikTok kumewaka moto Goat wife amepata side chick kwake akamkalisha chini akaanza kumuuliza maswali,lakini honestly mbona unadate married man Alafu Bado unapeleka disrespect kwa matrimonial home??😂😂Anyway wamama wengine surely the girl doesn’t owe you any explanation deal with your kadinya husband😁😁Mariej,mariej..nimekuita Mara ngapi??😭😭

[Gîthioro wa Nguraî @gikuyu254]

Car spotters wa Kinungi...Thekete

[Parclays punk @Thee_Rodney]

I registered for one these cycling long-trips where there's a meeting point (obviously) before embarking on the journey. Sikujua kumbe majamaa wanakuja kama bike ziko kwa Gari. Mimi I rode from home, sweating like cold tusker. Point is, Gari pia ni muhimu 😭.

[Mbabz @Kalasinga_]

The flak I got for tweeting this. Riggy G is an extremely ruthless and successful political operative. Ever since the Moi era. He was just in the shadows until he became Ruto's running mate.

[Generali Osumo @generali_osumo]

Listen and Learn! 2027 elections NOT riggable!

The options that William Ruto has are limited to losing the elections legally and going back to Sugoi or compromising the elections and BURN this country completely!.

There will be no country here that William Ruto will lead with stolen elections. Let him know that Kenyans are watching him keenly and we will be having so many ways of dealing with him RUTHLESSLY and MERCILESSLY.

[DK @DK3OffTheT]

@elonmusk Funniest thing these darn conspiracy theorists say

[Khalid™ @Mwangikibai]

Hapo kwa kuselect mwaka,unazungusha mouse kama kisiagi ya diesel,tumezeeka guys 😂😂