Makaveli

Transation advisor |
Mental health advocate

[Makaveli @NeemaJohnte]

@ChiboleMathias @georgediano Ume kapitia wewe

[Yoko @Kibet_bull]

Lazima we livestream 2027 election results. Unless ni pornographicc results

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

Exams are here, and different schools have organized emergency prayer meetings for the daughters and sons of Agrippina. As we speak, the little pikiins are speaking in tongues, rolling on the floor and calling for DIVINE INTERVENTION. Others are rebuking the spirit of confusion, binding demons of failure and casting out the ghost of mathematics.

Their prayer request is simple,, Yehova Wanyonyi to confuse the examiners where the answer is wrong. Those who write like gwenos want their handwriting to be so anointed that even the examiner cannot question it.

These same pikiins have spent the whole year perfecting TikTok dances, mastering the latest Gengetone moves and engaging in extra-curricular activities that cannot be mentioned here bcoz some parents can't believe their pikiins are actually engaging in horizontal engineering as early as 15yrs.

Now that KCSE or that thing called KEPSEA is here, they're demanding miracles from heaven. Some are even asking God to give them the same marks as the student who has been reading from January.

Imagine competing with someone who has been studying while you were busy perfecting the siaka siaka challenge. Let me tell you something you little pikiins, EXAMS ARE NOT A CHURCH SERVICE. You cannot dance your way to campus, speak in tongues your way to an A, or roll on the floor until Chemistry starts making sense.

And to the pulpit bandits stretching their hands over these children's heads, please let's be honest to this spoilt brats. Even if you declare the entire power of heaven through their skulls, Yehova Wanyonyi cannot sit the exam on their behalf.

God helps those who help themselves. If you didn't study, go and face your destiny. The examiner is not your pastor, & the marking scheme is not a prayer request. Kama huku soma, utaokota Daudi msalaba Yako safiii. Chesaa!!

[kijana ya Manchester🧢 @dropdalot]

Kwani August iliisha na sijui. We go again.

[kijana ya Manchester🧢 @dropdalot]

Nilisema sitaoa single mother lakini huyu mtoto amegusa roho yangu🥰

[Richard Oluwamayowa @Olaogun_]

When I win I’m definitely posting this ….😫🤲

[JOSH💀☠️ @23_JOSH_1]

After kupea mumama round saba strong

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

The only way to fight these counterfeit alcohol is by breaking the bottle once you're done. These counterfeit producers seem to have it too easy because empty bottles are readily available for refilling.

[SOMEKE @ntemi_okisukuma]

Wow!!

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

WAIT TILL YOU FIND OUT WHAT THIS ADVERT IS ACTUALLY ABOUT!!😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂

[Bro From Siaya @_Sakko]

3rd term school fees cleared
Rent cleared until 27th January 2027
Fridge Full Focus
Tokens Worth Kshs 20k

Im Free

[Makaveli @NeemaJohnte]

@Wuodnyakach_ Pia Mercedes siyo yake,kingpin wa mabrokie.

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

The day you trust a woman with your secret is the day you've dug your grave because you're finished.

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

Every relationship in this world is transactional... even your parents and relatives will start treating you differently if they see you will never help them with anything.

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

Bro: Never shake a hand while sitting down. It’s a sign of weakness and laziness. Stand up, look them in the eye, and grip with strength. Your handshake is your word, make sure it commands respect. Always rise to the occasion, never slouch in the presence of others.

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

No man deserves a fat woman. As a man, your woman should be at least 15 kg lighter than you. Otherwise, fat women are only for hunger games during the dry season. Supplying them with low voltage electricity is a huge favor.

[FARUQ @greatfa7uq]

Peak misogyny bro.😭😭

[ONJOLO KENYA🇰🇪 @onjolo_kenya]

Cancel everything else but Wantam it is for a better Kenya 👌

[WILLIE OEBA @WillieOeba]

Ile siku Susan Kihika atatoka kuwa governor wa Nakuru, I will kick a show kati kati ya Nakuru CBD

The celebration will be massive !!

[Fact @Fact]

You cry when you cut onions because your tears react to the propanethiol s-oxide released by the onion, creating acid in your eye.