Neeraj Kumar Malhan

[Rob Galloway @DrRobgalloway]

We need to solve the overcrowding crisis in A&E. I may have the solution!

It came to me whilst reading my son " A squash and a squeeze" by Julia Donaldson (author of the Gruffalo)

A&E Squash and a Squeeze, adapted by Rob Galloway

A little old A&E, lived all by itself , with cubicles and chairs and a water jug on the shelf.

A wise old health secretary heard her grumble and grouse, “There’s not enough room in my A&E house.

Wise old health secretary, won’t you help me, please? My A&E house is a squash and a squeeze.”

“Take in your drunk and disorderly patients” said the wise old health secretary man

“Take in my drunk and disorderly patients? What a curious plan.”

Kept in A&E, instead of a cell, they vomited on the rug,

And flapped round the cubicle, knocking over the jug.
.
The little old A&E cried, “I implore? It was poky before and it’s tiny for more.

My nose has a tickle and there’s no room to sneeze. My A&E house is a squash and a squeeze.”

And she said, “Wise old health secretary, won’t you help me, please? My A&E house is a squash and a squeeze.”

“Take in your awaiting medical bed patients,” said the wise old health secretary man.
.
“Take in my awaiting medical bed patients? What a curious plan.”

Well, the awaiting medical bed patients pulled back the curtains and trod on the bed,

``then sat down to eat via her long term peg.

The little old A&E cried, “Glory be! It was tiny before and it’s titchy for more.

The drunks attacked the awaiting medical bed patients and the awaiting medical bed patients got fleas. My house is a squash and a squeeze.”

And she said, “Wise old health secretary, won’t you help me, please? My A&E house is a
squash and a squeeze.”

“Take in your awaiting mental health bed patients ” said the wise old health secretary man.

“Take in my awaiting mental health bed patients ? What a curious plan.”

So she took in awaiting mental health bed patients who kept pressing the alarms in cubicle ten

And raising everyone’s blood pressure again and again.

The little old A&E cried, “Stop, I implore! It was titchy before and it’s teeny for more.

Even the mental health patients in the cubicles agrees, My A&E house is a squash and a squeeze.”

And she said, “Wise old health secretary, won’t you help me, please? My house is a
squash and a squeeze.”

“Open an urgent care centre,” said the wise old health secretary man
.
“Open an urgent care centre? What a curious plan.”

Well, the urgent care centre attracted the 111 referred worried well,

Whose long waits created an unpleasant waiting room smell

The little old A&E cried, “Heavens alive! It was teeny before and it’s weeny for more

I’m tearing my hair out, I’m down on my knees. My A&E house is a squash and a squeeze.”

And she said, “Wise old health secretary , won’t you help me, please? My house is a squash and a squeeze.”

“Take them all out,” said the wise old health secretary man.

“But then I’ll be back where I first began.”

So she persuade the police to remove the aggressive men

“That’s better – at last I can sneeze again.”

They opened up ward beds and she gave a jig

“My A&E house is beginning to feel pretty big.”

She persuaded the 111 patients to self discharge where safety would allow.

“Just look at my A&E house, it’s enormous now”.

“Thank you, old health secretary for saving the day, Our A&E is so big now, our staff might just stay.
.
There’s no need to grumble and there’s no need to grouse. There’s plenty of room in my A&E house.”

And now she’s full of frolics and fiddle-de-dees. It isn’t a squash and it isn’t a squeeze.

Yes, she’s full of frolics and fiddle-de-dees.

It isn’t a squash or a squeeze.

[Neeraj Kumar Malhan @NeerajMalhan]

@ElshadKarbasi 😜

[Neeraj Kumar Malhan @NeerajMalhan]

@catherineinsim @THHsimcentre Brilliant work from our very own Savana! Can’t wait to use it tomorrow! Great work

[Ian Higginson @RCEMpresident]

Big shout out to all the SAS doctors working in EM. You really are an essential part of our departments, quietly going about your business, thank you! #SASWeek23

[Neeraj Kumar Malhan @NeerajMalhan]

Great to see our docs @atunconcaraotas and Minnie Lee present their great work on reducing cognitive load in the @EM_Hillingdon resus room at #RCEMasc. Brilliant patient safety initiative @HillingdonNHSFT

[Katherine Henderson @KatherineRCEM]

Dr Youri Yordanov #EUSEM22 talking about the management of GI bleeds He makes the point that others produce guidelines about what we should do in ED without talking to ED physicians or appreciating how patients present. My pet hate! No ED recommendations without us! @RCollEM

[Mike Henley 🤨 @trentconsultant]

If you're an NHS consultant, with a work WhatsApp, do yourself and the BMA a favour and post these two links on it. We want everyone to hear this and get involved, act now https://t.co/IUAl0wfuwD and https://t.co/8EzqKeAIx4

[Neeraj Kumar Malhan @NeerajMalhan]

Lovely day celebrating my wife’s new FRCS in #vascular over at @RCSnews. Well done @kmorganbates

[VascularNNUH @NnuhVascular]

Fantastic work by @kmorganbates @philstather and Jack Doherty. Why isn't enhanced recovery used in vascular surgery? https://t.co/G0ySunQ7fO

[Hannah Maple @TransplantMaple]

Delighted to be on board the Emerging Leaders Programme with some of these fabulous ladies @Nabeela_Surgeon @MeriemAmarouche @DormanSara @CharlotteDugda1 @Beccajfish @gsmckenna @kmorganbates @CjSivarajan @RCSnews #liftasyouclimb #lookslikeasurgeon

https://t.co/qinAtSUBkX

[Emergency Medicine Hillingdon @EM_Hillingdon]

The EM crew @HillingdonNHSFT finished a loooong @HillHospCharity walk this Sunday.... and then came in to work! Please donate generously for our maternity bereavement suite 💙

[Salman @Myoclonicjerk1]

@TongtongMD @HillingdonNHSFT @RCollEM @TintTrauma So proud leading an EM family that tries to practice true #Emergencymedicine despite the current national challenges..especially our novel trauma simulation course @TintTrauma ❤ @NeerajMalhan

[Neeraj Kumar Malhan @NeerajMalhan]

@robi_brambi @allografter LZz

[Health Service Journal @HSJnews]

Tributes paid to ‘exceptional’ national A&E leader ’who will be remembered forever’ https://t.co/hdtp606C5E

[Neeraj Kumar Malhan @NeerajMalhan]

Excellent MDT #backslab teaching ⁦@HillingdonNHSFT⁩ ED this morning. Well done team! ⁦@aribasu⁩ ⁦@KirstyFarrell5⁩ ⁦@sepsismaggie⁩ #emeducation

[Kirsty Farrell @KirstyFarrell5]

Excellent ED in situ #COVIDー19 simulation simulation with focus on management of patients in cardiac arrest. #cardiacarrest. @NeerajMalhan @HillingdonNHSFT @melissa_mellett @sheafagan @RanjitKooner23 @drehsanr @aribasu @WisniackiFiona

[Neeraj Kumar Malhan @NeerajMalhan]

Excellent multidisciplinary #COVID19 sim in the ED @HillingdonNHSFT. Loads of learning particularly around time taken for #donninganddoffing. Excellent work team! More sim tomorrow. @WisniackiFiona @RanjitKooner23 @drehsanr @aribasu @KirstyFarrell5 @melissa_mellett

[Sarah Hallett @DrSarahHal]

Huge news 👉 @BMA_JuniorDocs are delighted that access to LTFT will finally become available to all specialties in the next two years, after close working between the committee and @NHS_HealthEdEng.

https://t.co/BgrdIEHekY

[Neeraj Kumar Malhan @NeerajMalhan]

Opportunistic learning opportunity for #teamem in the ED @HillingdonNHSFT looking at risk assessment for blood borne viruses! #pep. Thanks team!

[Neeraj Kumar Malhan @NeerajMalhan]

We interviewed an excellent group of doctors for ACCS ST1 EM next year. @RCollEM, the future EM consultants are superstars in the making!