Gollum

You don't know me. You don't want to know me. If you knew me you wouldn't like me, trust me. BTW don't trust me.

[Gollum @Neerovra]

@unblock_list what blocklists

[Gollum @Neerovra]

The accounts that I follow on Twitter disappeared a few days ago and they aren't coming back...

[Gollum @Neerovra]

@elonmusk "I Spy ( with my little eye)". Car gives a category ( e.g. "something blue"). If you don't answer correctly within 10 seconds the heated seats.and climate controlled interior punish you savagely.

[Gollum @Neerovra]

@acorns

[Gollum @Neerovra]

@APCentralRegion Counterpoint: Your son is a piece of shit.

[Gollum @Neerovra]

@Prudential And it takes bravery to attend school, go to work or go to the movies in America where the casualty rate for gun violence is higher than most war zones.

[Gollum @Neerovra]

@VisitGuatemala Sounds nice.
But.

I tell you where I'd go. Zihuatanejo. It's in Mexico. A little place on the Pacific Ocean.

[Gollum @Neerovra]

Note to self: When buying books online check the cover photo. Don't rely on the title.

[Gollum @Neerovra]

@dinahpowers My dad's method: during selection work in the sentence,"well, if they didn't do it, I'm sure they did something before. Otherwise why would they be getting arrested?". 100% dismissal rate.

[Gollum @Neerovra]

@tigersgoroooar You know, after"... pedophiles who shave their-" I was expecting something, um, different.

[Gollum @Neerovra]

@haleighghghghgh I swear you American girls will do ANYTHING to get public health care.

[Gollum @Neerovra]

@trumpetcake

[Gollum @Neerovra]

@RonCharles @AmberTozer "I was going to teach high school, but it was too dangerous so I enlisted and requested to be stationed overseas."
<Reaches Iraq>
"Whew!"
<Wipes sweat from brow>

[Brandon H @brandon_r_horan]

Overheard in a shop:

Man: Didn’t want to disturb you when u were on the phone but u are in the US now. Speak English.

Woman: Excuse me?

M: If u want to speak Mexican, go back to Mexico. Here we speak English.

W: I spoke Navajo. If u want to speak English, go back to England.

[Gollum @Neerovra]

@jennyandteets Pink is a great hair color! I mean eventually we will all shave our heads as the country collapses into all out chaos and civil war between the left and the new Nazis, but for now go wild!

[Gollum @Neerovra]

@everywhereist Jackbooted thug #1 looking over the manifests of immigrant children: "I hear 'Laurel'."

Jackbooted thug #2 hitting a child in the face with a rifle butt: "You're crazy, it's clearly 'Yanni'."

[The MilanTooner @TheMilanTooner]

you haven't experienced life until you've seen Muppet outtakes

[Gollum @Neerovra]

@Microsoft @iconem "But that doesn't answer the $64,000 question:

'What's a computer?' "

<Gets violently slapped, sees myself out>

[Gollum @Neerovra]

@mashfreak @nikiesloca @KaitMarieox @QQpanther @drunkamerica

[Gollum @Neerovra]

@Newsy Delaware is gambling on losing massive child marriage tourism money.