Neil M.

Seizing the means of relaxation.

[The Overlap @WeAreTheOverlap]

"A burger and coke cost me $400!" 🤣

Safe to say Wrighty is enjoying his Picante's! 🍸

[Tom Jamieson @jamiesont]

Explaining to foreigners the winner of this contest gets to be Prime Minister

[Éideán @magefc_]

Hahahahaha

Sky News getting rattled by a bin.

[Aidan James @mcandidate]

the only time Darren Cann's phone is "blowing up" is when people are asking him why he has the voice of a haunted child

[Neil M. @Neil_M79]

@henrywinter Why not turn the teams around after the water breaks like in the NFL? At least the fans in the stadium will see their side attacking their end twice a game 🤷🏼‍♂️

[Tom Jamieson @jamiesont]

Stay for the last line...

Perfect 😂😂😂

[ITV Football @itvfootball]

“I’m not one to hold grudges!” 😅

Roy Keane picks HIS football Mount Rushmore ⛰️⚽️

[J.K. Rowling @jk_rowling]

Every single person who still cringes at the memory of trying to bullshit their way through an interview or exam question: today, the slate is wiped clean. Set down your burden of shame. Nothing - nothing, I say - could touch this.

[Eugene @eugeneh84]

Lady Di commemorative plate £20. Good condition

[✧˖ @colditioner]

Jean-Paul Belmondo doing things no insurance company would allow today

[bill lothian @Sportybilly]

Peter Phillips' wedding day is a chance to bring out the story of how when he captained Gordonstoun at rugby he was greeted by Inverness ref Colin Baillie at the coin toss with the words: "would you like tails ,...or granny?"

[Tom Stanley @_tomstanley_]

Just dawned on me 30 years of hurt is now 60 years of hurt and I feel OLD

[Fabi @fabianalr_]

Hmmm, I wonder why...

[. @saundzo]

Does common sense just disappear?

[Neil M. @Neil_M79]

@Chefbazza83 @carlfhoward High end restaurants charging £250+ will be lucky to have £35 profit. Lucky.

[Sinister in the Presidency @AmandaBRinquest]

salary increases

[dog @adogtwting]

I accidentally fired a shotgun at a woman in Nebraska

[kramerica industries @hepimp]

heatwave icon.

[italian pat butcher 🚂 @iiofspain]

armando iannucci being the paddington 4 scriptwriter means the chances of mr curry calling paddington a cunt are low but not zero