Callum

Paragon of rationale and common sense

[Callum @NeoPelagianCal]

Second class bitches wouldn’t let me on first base - and they still won’t

[Callum @NeoPelagianCal]

Yes, the rumours are true, I have purchased a leather jacket and have also legally changed my name to Tony Soprano

[Callum @NeoPelagianCal]

Girl confronts me with form of social injustice; me, unable to resist any opportunity for completely gratuitous Latin - ‘Mihi in odio est’

[Callum @NeoPelagianCal]

In the depths of winter, I found within me there was an invincible summer

[Callum @NeoPelagianCal]

@oscar41500794 Breakfast, lunch and dinner

[Callum @NeoPelagianCal]

@CementMixer_397 A gem from drafts

[Callum @NeoPelagianCal]

My mother, in riposte to me, on the Queen’s funeral:
‘It’s not pompous, Callum. It’s History.’

[Callum @NeoPelagianCal]

@ChorleyDanielle Us crunchers will shun you, leper

[Callum @NeoPelagianCal]

I want you to touch road with the girls dem, and socialise

[Callum @NeoPelagianCal]

@oscar41500794 I love bladee

[Callum @NeoPelagianCal]

@GayJelly99 Smug face

[youngguy @youngbossjell]

Brighton boy summer

[Callum @NeoPelagianCal]

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

[Callum @NeoPelagianCal]

@GayJelly99 Appreciate your support Jel, hope all is well x

[Callum @NeoPelagianCal]

Thinking of making a comeback on here, what do people think?

[Callum @NeoPelagianCal]

@IslingtonChap Never read anything more relatable in my life

[Callum @NeoPelagianCal]

Take a loaf of Hovis granary bread and slice, gently. Let the knife do the work. Toast on the AGA until golden brown. Add thick lashings of Isigny Sainte-Mère butter, before layering with drizzled marmite. Serve in front of The Grand Tour, with a steamy cuppa to boot 👍

[Callum @NeoPelagianCal]

@yeeeeeetzus Woke moralist pussy

[Callum @NeoPelagianCal]

@yeeeeeetzus Do us all a favour and delete account mate ❤️