Neripuns

Daily funny and/or cute quotes - Mostly puns

[Neripuns @Neripuns]

https://t.co/u1zQhQT1eN <- Other places to find me

[Neripuns @Neripuns]

What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? 
"I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions."
#puns #pun #punquotes #wordpun #cutequote #cute #funny #funnypun #funnyquote #wordplay #dailypun #punny #joke #dadjoke #funnydadjoke #stressbuster #relievestress #aprilfool #fool

[Neripuns @Neripuns]

-My father's name is Laughing, my mother's name is Smiling. 
-You must be kidding. 
-No, that's my brother. I'm Joking.
#pun #punquotes #wordpun #cutequote #cute #funny #funnypun #funnyquote #wordplay #dailypun #punny #joke #dadjoke #funnydadjoke #stressbuster #relievestress

[Neripuns @Neripuns]

My computer suddenly started belting out "Someone Like You." 
It's a Dell.
#puns #pun #punquotes #wordpun #cutequote #cute #funny #funnypun #funnyquote #wordplay #dailypun #punny #joke #dadjoke #funnydadjoke #stressbuster #relievestress #someonelikeyou #adelejoke #dell

[Neripuns @Neripuns]

Have you heard of that new band "1023 Megabytes"? They're pretty good, but they don't have a gig just yet.
#pun #punquotes #wordpun #cutequote #cute #funny #funnyquote #wordplay #dailypun #punny #joke #dadjoke #funnydadjoke #stressbuster #relievestress #musicband #megabyte #gig

[Neripuns @Neripuns]

-Why was King Arthur's army too tired to fight? 
-It had too many sleepless knights.
#puns #pun #punquotes #wordpun #cutequote #cute #funny #funnypun #funnyquote #wordplay #dailypun #punny #joke #dadjoke #funnydadjoke #stressbuster #relievestress #kingathur #knight

[Neripuns @Neripuns]

I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
#puns #pun #punquotes #wordpun #cutequote #cute #funny #funnypun #funnyquote #wordplay #dailypun #punny #joke #dadjoke #funnydadjoke #stressbuster #relievestress #keyboard

[Neripuns @Neripuns]

How does a computer get drunk? 
It takes screenshots.
#puns #pun #punquotes #wordpun #cutequote #cute #funny #funnypun #funnyquote #wordplay #dailypun #punny #joke #dadjoke #funnydadjoke #stressbuster #relievestress #computer #screenshot #drunk

[Neripuns @Neripuns]

-Doctor, I need your help. I'm addicted to checking my Twitter! 
-I'm so sorry, I don't follow.
#puns #pun #punquotes #wordpun #cutequote #cute #funny #funnypun #funnyquote #wordplay #dailypun #punny #joke #dadjoke #funnydadjoke #stressbuster #relievestress #twitter

[Neripuns @Neripuns]

What do you call it when you have your mom's mom on speed dial? 
Instagram.
#puns #pun #punquotes #wordpun #cutequote #cute #funny #funnypun #funnyquote #wordplay #dailypun #punny #joke #dadjoke #funnydadjoke #stressbuster #relievestress #grandma #grandmother

[Neripuns @Neripuns]

What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? 
"I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions."
#puns #pun #punquotes #wordpun #cutequote #cute #funny #funnypun #funnyquote #wordplay #dailypun #punny #joke #dadjoke #funnydadjoke #stressbuster #relievestress

[Neripuns @Neripuns]

What is the hardest shape to get out of?
The trap-azoid.
#puns #pun #punquotes #wordpun #cutequote #cute #funny #funnypun #funnyquote #wordplay #dailypun #punny #joke #dadjoke #funnydadjoke #stressbuster #relievestress #math #trapezoid #geometry

[Neripuns @Neripuns]

You da mom!
#puns #pun #punquotes #wordpun #cutequote #cute #funny #funnypun #funnyquote #wordplay #dailypun #punny #joke #dadjoke #funnydadjoke #stressbuster #relievestress #mom #mother #happymotherday #motherday

[Neripuns @Neripuns]

I’ve got a phobia of over-engineered buildings. It’s a complex complex complex.
#puns #pun #punquotes #wordpun #cutequote #cute #funny #funnypun #funnyquote #wordplay #dailypun #punny #joke #dadjoke #funnydadjoke #stressbuster #relievestress #building #complex #phobia

[Neripuns @Neripuns]

No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
#puns #pun #punquotes #wordpun #cutequote #cute #funny #funnypun #funnyquote #wordplay #dailypun #punny #joke #dadjoke #funnydadjoke #stressbuster #relievestress #envelope #stationery

[Neripuns @Neripuns]

I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. 
I don’t know why.
#puns #pun #punquotes #wordpun #cutequote #cute #funny #funnypun #funnyquote #wordplay #dailypun #punny #joke #dadjoke #funnydadjoke #stressbuster #relievestress #alphabet

[Neripuns @Neripuns]

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually, it came back to me.
#puns #pun #punquotes #wordpun #cutequote #cute #funny #funnypun #funnyquote #wordplay #dailypun #punny #joke #dadjoke #funnydadjoke #stressbuster #relievestress #boomerang

[Neripuns @Neripuns]

The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought, “This changes everything”.
#puns #pun #punquotes #wordpun #cutequote #cute #funny #funnypun #funnyquote #wordplay #dailypun #punny #joke #dadjoke #funnydadjoke #stressbuster #relievestress #remotecontrol

[Neripuns @Neripuns]

My math teacher called me average. 
How mean!
#puns #pun #punquotes #wordpun #cutequote #cute #funny #funnypun #funnyquote #wordplay #dailypun #punny #joke #dadjoke #funnydadjoke #stressbuster #relievestress #math #teacher #mean

[Neripuns @Neripuns]

Some clown opened the door for me this morning. That was a nice jester.
#puns #pun #punquotes #wordpun #cutequote #cute #funny #funnypun #funnyquote #wordplay #dailypun #punny #joke #dadjoke #funnydadjoke #stressbuster #relievestress #clown #jester #nicegesture

[Neripuns @Neripuns]

I don’t play soccer football because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.
#puns #pun #punquotes #wordpun #cutequote #cute #funny #funnypun #funnyquote #wordplay #dailypun #punny #joke #dadjoke #funnydadjoke #stressbuster #relievestress #football #soccer