New FCPS Superintendent

New Superintendent of Fairfax County Public Schools. Hope to continue Dr. Delaybrand’s legacy of ensuring FCPS is woefully behind every school district in U.S.

[New FCPS Superintendent @NewFCPSsupt]

Good day! I’m the new supt!
He/It/Supt

I’m thrilled to continue the wayward progressive track of FCPS by focusing on academia as little as humanly possible, increasing spending on lawsuits against parents & stakeholders, and renaming schools to ensure they are gender neutral.

[New FCPS Superintendent @NewFCPSsupt]

@v_theclash @ghostsoffp Your privilege is showing

[Fairfax County Parents Association @FFXParentsAssoc]

“Union leaders and the CDC have been pressed about the extent of [their] collaboration, while texts, obtained by Fairfax County Parents Association, show the parties had a friendly relationship prior to the CDC releasing instructions for school reopening” https://t.co/Ab5ReNxFeY

[New FCPS Superintendent @NewFCPSsupt]

Here is the email I sent to my current school district after @FairfaxNAACP outed me.
I may be the only one left standing in the @fcpsnews superintendent search, but that doesn’t mean I’m the LAST choice for the job!
I’m the last AND only fool willing to take this gig!

[New FCPS Superintendent @NewFCPSsupt]

@DoBetterFCPS Do tell, @DoBetterFCPS!
After all, I am here to mindlessly virtue signal while catapulting FCPS into academic UNexcellence and public humiliation.
Tell me, how can I NOT listen today?
What concerns DO citizens have?
I shall take careful note and ignore them with aplomb!

[New FCPS Superintendent @NewFCPSsupt]

Good news, fellow virtue-signalers of Fairfax!
The school board will be announcing my hire in 3-2-1…
Stay tuned for their sickeningly sweet speeches welcoming me to the FCPS dumpster fi…
…fold! Welcoming me to the fold, I mean! 🥴

[New FCPS Superintendent @NewFCPSsupt]

@Northshore_Supt It’s okay, boo. You weren’t the first choice for New Supt, but now you are the ONLY choice.
No one else wants this mess known as FCPS.
Enjoy the Twitter handle and good luck 😘
Love,
Cheryl from Omaha
FCPS’s First Choice

[New FCPS Superintendent @NewFCPSsupt]

Okay, so maybe I only lasted ONE DAY in FCPS. Have you MET the school board?!? Surely you cannot blame me. This here Cheryl-riff is staying in Omaha.
Another new She-riff/It-riff/Supt-riff is coming to town.
Not to worry, I will hand over the reins to this account!

[New FCPS Superintendent @NewFCPSsupt]

@HarryJ4Justice Since the Fairfax NAACP has been instrumental in my hiring, I have it on good authority that only progressive, middle-class white suburban women are eligible for membership. You, Mr. Jackson, would need to identify as a woke white woman for membership reconsideration. #letusknow

[New FCPS Superintendent @NewFCPSsupt]

@AsraNomani @iandprior @Matt4VA11 @DoBetterFCPS @fairfax_mom1 @fcpsnews @NoVA_Campaigns @FairfaxGOP @FFXParentsAssoc @GerryConnolly @coalitionforTJ @carrielukas @ArmyOfParents @JGunlock @AndrewGutmann @FcpOpen @FcpsPathetic @CalebMaxVA10 Fret not, families! In my role of New Supt, I shall continue to uphold the esteemed values of FCPS by ignoring kids & their parents, while simultaneously steering FCPS off a monumental cliff of despair.
We WILL beat LCPS in the Race to the Bottom.
You have my dishonest word.

[New FCPS Superintendent @NewFCPSsupt]

@LCPSDoBetter I’d say there is ZERO chance!
Ironically that’s the same likelihood of parents in FCPS being asked to weigh in on my hiring.
Little secret for you: SBs care more about those little boy/girl stick figure drawings on school bathroom signs than they do about parents’ opinions.

[New FCPS Superintendent @NewFCPSsupt]

@DoBetterFCPS Tsk, tsk. Never say never. As they say, a new sheriff is in town! This here she-riff/it-riff/Supt-riff ain’t a’feared to close down them schools again till we’ve done renamed ‘em all with brand spankin’ new gender-neutral names!

[New FCPS Superintendent @NewFCPSsupt]

It appears there is some controversy surrounding my confidential hiring. Rest assured NO students, parents, teachers or staff were privy to the process!
ONLY Fairfax NAACP, FEA, Fairfax Dems, Ketanji Brown Jackson, Amy Schumer, & Karl Frisch’s spouse were invited to the table.

[New FCPS Superintendent @NewFCPSsupt]

@elonmusk @taylorswift13 I only follow 3 accounts, and Tay Tay is one of them, so Imma need her to get back on tweeting wagon.

[New FCPS Superintendent @NewFCPSsupt]

@NoVA_Campaigns @Northshore_SD @Northshore_Supt @fcpsnews Now, just to be clear, I am not ‘obsessed’ with gender & sexuality.
I only wish for robust gender & sexuality curriculum to replace the proven ineffective courses known as math, science, reading and spelling.

[New FCPS Superintendent @NewFCPSsupt]

@rweingarten A joyous day for me as well, Randi, as I have been named New Superintendent of one of your most favorite school districts! Together we will ensure teacher union activists guide all policy decisions for FCPS, regardless of any negative ramifications for pesky students.

[New FCPS Superintendent @NewFCPSsupt]

I see quite a lot of accounts that appear unhappy with FCPS. As New Supt I’d like to understand the problems, so I can then promptly ignore them.
Please elaborate on your beef with FCPS, and r/t accordingly so your disgruntled friends may chime in.
@DoBetterFCPS @VoicesFairfax

[New FCPS Superintendent @NewFCPSsupt]

@coalitionforTJ I’m hoping the news of FCPS’s involvement with the United States Supreme Court doesn’t overshadow the announcement of my new position as New Supt of the Worst School Board in America!
#USSCstealingmythunder

[New FCPS Superintendent @NewFCPSsupt]

@DoBetterFCPS @ElaineTholen As the New Supt, I would like to reassure all residents that Fairfax County Public Schools remains committed to not caring about your concerns whatsoever. #uncaringculture #mathisracist #LewisHSneedsagenderneutralremaing

[New FCPS Superintendent @NewFCPSsupt]

@FFXParentsAssoc Hey! I resemble this remark! It doesn’t matter their motives.
Partisan activists agree: I am the best worst candidate for the job!
I intend to continue Dr. Delaybrand’s legacy of sinking the FCPS ship right to the bottom of the Woefully Behind Sea.

[New FCPS Superintendent @NewFCPSsupt]

I’ve just realized my profile pic resembles a stick of butter. That’s ok. It’s symbolism. FCPS is melting like butter under a hot pit of public & media scrutiny. As New Supt, I will take that melted reputation and turn it into something delicious. Like chocolate chip cookies.