Dr UberXL

Failed Optimistic Nihilist - post 90s Luddite - Road to 90 (93)

[Dr UberXL @Night_shifted]

Very naive for anyone to have thought they could eat American cheese and not get microplastics in their balls

[Dr UberXL @Night_shifted]

Me searching who owns the stadiums that’s banning Macklemore from performing on Ed Sheeran’s tour

[Dr UberXL @Night_shifted]

No, actually, as you can see I clearly stated in my resume that I was a VICTIM of beastiality

[Dr UberXL @Night_shifted]

Do you think Mitch McConnell will work even less if he sent in his two weeks or about the same

[Dr UberXL @Night_shifted]

Sisyphus cannot be miserable if he likes to move rocks

[Dr UberXL @Night_shifted]

There are lines of blow out in the world that don’t hit as hard as a Celsius and 6mg spearmint Zyn combo

[Dr UberXL @Night_shifted]

I’ve been writing too many checks that 600mg of ibuprofen simply cannot cash

[Dr UberXL @Night_shifted]

I wonder in how many simulations was Lindsey Graham’s ceiling a gay real estate agent

[Dr UberXL @Night_shifted]

Night shift but you don’t know nothing about it

[Dr UberXL @Night_shifted]

@strictly_JC Good thing nothing has changed for 200 years

[Dr UberXL @Night_shifted]

Feining for brainrot so bad I’m looking over boomers shoulders watching facebook reels of Fox News

[Dr UberXL @Night_shifted]

@strictly_JC “Subscription based farming > little ouchies when I was 7”

[Dr UberXL @Night_shifted]

Trump needed TSA for everyone at the Knicks game but is comfortable with a massive modern day gladiator fighting event in his front yard

[Dr UberXL @Night_shifted]

Dipping from parking authority like I just got tenure at Ra’s al Ghul’s League of Assassins

[Dr UberXL @Night_shifted]

@strictly_JC No Philly team of any kind very interesting

[Dr UberXL @Night_shifted]

Anyone dumping a coin jar in a cash for coins machine I know goin through shit I couldn’t even fathom

[Dr UberXL @Night_shifted]

My favorite part of learning something new about someone is immediately being their #1 hater

[Dr UberXL @Night_shifted]

If pretty privilege is real then tell me why I just saw a woman who’s face perfectly fit the Fibonacci sequence working the register at a souvenir shop the size of a closet in the Balkans

[Dr UberXL @Night_shifted]

The closest I’ll ever get to the feeling of bron with his son in the NBA playoffs, will be my son handing me a hand rolled cigarette after I’ve polished a six pack of bud light platinums at an in-law family reunion

[Dr UberXL @Night_shifted]

Hitting shedeur’s perfect timing emote in front of rural Africans so there’s a healthy amount of cultural exchange