Nick Jonker

Backend dev @twitter

-Professional expert
-Great at losing money
-Extremely fluffy hair

[Lukas (computer) (In SF) 🔺 @SCHIZO_FREQ]

The man pops a pill as his girl covers herself in ‘Desire Cream’ to force themselves through their monthly bout of ‘love making’ while pretending they don’t hate each other

After they ‘finish’ (well, neither actually ‘finishes,’ at some point the drugs wear off and they just mutually decide to stop), they take out their phones and view short-form video content about how young people aren’t having sex anymore

“Thank god I’m not one of those losers”, they think to themselves

[owen cyclops @owenbroadcast]

i am piecing together some information

[@ratlimit @ratlimit]

Just brought my girlfriend’s boyfriend his bedtime tea. Decided to take a risk… I did not fill it to his preferred level. Not to worry!—‘twas all for a zinger: “Look who has the low ‘tea’ levels *now* !” 🤣

Guess who earned a lil nightynight snuggle with Princess 😎

[GoliathFan1952 @ByYourLogic]

You may think it’s barbaric and evil to force a 12 year old to give birth to her rapist’s baby at gunpoint. However, have you considered that we made an infant suffer unimaginable pain for the 2 hours he was alive for no reason? Not so black and white now, is it?

[Kyle Mitchell @opinioncasino]

I Bought $250,000 Worth of Physical Nickels

No, that’s not a typo.

That’s 5 million coins. 55,000 pounds of American metal stacked in boxes from a local bank vault — an asset the government literally can’t print anymore.

Most people would call it insane.
But let me explain the thesis.

Each U.S. nickel is made of 75% copper and 25% nickel, weighing 5 grams. That means every $1 million in face value equals roughly 100,000 pounds of metal.

At current metal spot prices, the melt value of a modern nickel sits around $0.043 – $0.047, depending on commodity fluctuations — or roughly 90–95% of face value. That means the U.S. Mint loses money on every coin it produces. They’ve tried to change the composition for years, but Congress hasn’t approved it yet.

So what happens when they finally do?
The old “real” nickels become the last batch of government-issued coins containing significant industrial metal. When that happens, they’ll vanish from circulation overnight — just like the 90% silver coins did after 1964. Those who held them saw a 10–15× nominal gain over the following decades as melt value outpaced inflation.

My $250,000 position, therefore, isn’t a “trade.”

It’s an asymmetrical bet that the U.S. Mint will eventually debase the coinage again, that metal scarcity and inflation will continue to erode the dollar, and that a bag of nickels will one day be worth more dead than alive.

Worst case? I still have $250,000 in legal-tender coins backed by the full faith and credit of the United States.

Best case? The melt value doubles, triples, or gets banned outright — which would make the existing supply finite and far more valuable to collectors and contrarians alike.

It’s not crypto, it’s not stocks, it’s not even silver.

It’s 5 million tiny claims on an industrial commodity the government accidentally subsidizes.

That’s deep value.

That’s the Nickel Standard.

[Rob @_ROB_29]

My spirit animal isn’t taking any shit this year 😂

[Andrew Rousso @AndrewRousso]

using a urinal when wearing khakis:

[Elijah the Middleborne @TheMiddleborne]

DON’T GO IN THE OCEANS

[Nick Jonker @Nikosjonker]

@Arczi24232508 @benjamincowen Hey so how are we feeling today lil bro?

[Claude Taylor @TrueFactsStated]

This is part of the WWII Memorial in DC. Over 400 gold stars. Each star represents 1,000 members of Antifa who gave their lives in defense of Democracy.

[Minecraft @Minecraft]

Building terrain. See you in theaters July 23 2027. #Minecraft

[ＭｒL @Based_Mr_L]

Yeah, that exists in real life, and it's called the country where you were born.

[Moongazer @joeybeastmarket]

in my teenage years when i was a loser in high school i decided to go to a summer camp on the other side of the country where i didn’t know anyone for the sole purpose of kissing a girl for the first time. this was my bangkok.

it was a last ditch effort, a desperate reach into the abyss, an offensive parlay into the next step of manhood. upon arrival to this camp there was a standard orientation followed by the assignment of our cabins and bunkmates.

the sun was nearly setting. cabin 12. top of the hill. the last male bunk before the quarter mile walk through no man’s land to the girl bunks. i had been deployed to a strategic infantry foothold. my mission was simple: infiltrate. identify. kiss. dont get accused of sexual misconduct.

it was a few days in when i saw her. we locked eyes as she walked up the hill and i down. good morning gorgeous! would you like to make me a man?

she had to be mine. but i lacked the proper charm and charisma. i kept getting stuck in the friendzone due to my kind heart and because i was such a nice guy and girls don’t like nice guys they like assholes like blake who drinks beer wow dude you’re so cool because girls like you and you have social skills and play sports and get invited to parties and get tagged in facebook photos and aren’t a weird incel like me wow dude you’re sick bro that must feel awesome to be normal and desired and you asked me to let you copy my homework and i said yes but i wasn’t happy that’s sick bro at least im a nice guy you don’t deserve her

fast forward a few weeks and we are acquainted. im actually coming out of my shell as i get to know her. christina. from winnetka. auburn brown hair and green eyes. she was Her.

i was rapidly falling for her but did not know the way to take our friendship to the next level. this was the part where usually the girl would tell me about her crush and call me her best friend on oovoo. i wanted to avoid this tragic fate.

i sat up late in my cabin wondering what i could do. i finally gave in and asked my bunkmate.

his advice stuck with me. “make her feel special, but make it look like an accident.”

patriot.

the time to strike was unclear to me until it was thrust upon me without warning. kayak day at the lake. her and i in a friendly race from shore to shore. her manic rowing causing her kayak to topple. her falling into the water. me diving in after her. water going up my nose but my lizard brain knowing if i cleared my nostrils she’d get the ick. i really do hate women

us paddling slowly in silence to the shoreline. the quiet constant droning of the cicadas and crickets as we sat on the dark sand. her soft words of gratitude. my tom brady calmness in replying “it was nothing.”

2 minute drill. i command the offense now.

our eyes locked. i felt the spark. 16 years of kissless virginity coursing through my veins. fuck it. im going for it.

we made out for 3 minutes before she started giggling and saying we should go back before we get in trouble. i obliged with a retard smile glued to my face. i was invincible. only white people can feel this way.

the rest of camp we were inseparable lovers. every moment felt like this video. she was my world. then i didn’t get her number on the last day. and then i found her on facebook and she didn’t look at all how i remembered. we talked a bit and then it fizzled out and life happened and she’s married with a kid and i have an nft profile picture on twitter.

anyways men constantly see this video and say “they took this from us” but really that’s ridiculous because if a girl is attracted to you and you aren’t an awkward weirdo she will look at you this way and you will feel that divine spark between each other in all you do. just like me and christina did for that brief summer. our love was worth more than the life of any immigrant.

alternatively, gay men receive this treatment from women in clubs, nightly, and still end up having sex with them 30% of the time. incomprehensible

[LeCanard (Commissions open!) @iniemohk]

little green aliens discover that earth is a beautiful kaleidoscope

[Philip Proudfoot @PhilipProudfoot]

This man ethnically cleanses every space he walks into