Dick McStuffins

why yee when you can haw

[Dick McStuffins @Ninjasrock278]

@HamillHimself my friend found this at a thrift store. Is it real?

[Dick McStuffins @Ninjasrock278]

I keep a power bank in my back pocket with the connected cord shoved up my ass to keep my social battery charged

[Dick McStuffins @Ninjasrock278]

Why does the Hogwarts library have a restricted section?? Is that where they keep all the illustrated wizard porn???

[Dick McStuffins @Ninjasrock278]

If y'all wanna see some really nice dildos, Google image search "obsidian"

[Dick McStuffins @Ninjasrock278]

Me: Do you hate me or am I just jumping to conclusions because you can't speak?

My dogs:

Me: Yeah, you're right. You're probably just sleepy.

[Dick McStuffins @Ninjasrock278]

Step 1: Be mortal

Step 2: Hear the voice of the Divine

Step 3:????

Step 4: Prophet

[Nate Fernald @natefernald]

People think I'm weak when they see me dab the grease off my pizza with a napkin. But then I blow their fuckin' minds when I EAT THE DANG NAPKIN.

[Bis the cosmic fairy princess @BisTheFairy]

Solid Snake: *eats some popcorn*

Solid Snake: *bites down on something hard*...

Solid Snake: hhhhnNNhgghnnn,,, kernel

[billiam @BillRatchet]

bout to sell this pussy on shark tank

[Dick McStuffins @Ninjasrock278]

I'm gonna pretend I didn't see this...

[Lil B THE BASEDGOD @LILBTHEBASEDGOD]

keeping things gender fluid for all to enjoy ! - Lil B

[Dick McStuffins @Ninjasrock278]

@BlizzardCS @PlayOverwatch Why does Widowmaker not have any karaoke lines? I would love to have her do karaoke and then use her "Encore?" voiceline.

Sincerely, Isaiah

[Dick McStuffins @Ninjasrock278]

My dad: ... And then I have to cut up this watermelon.

Me: That's a pineapple...

[MoonPie @MoonPie]

I feel different

[Denny’s @DennysDiner]

if you eat french fries in the woods it’s technically trail mix.

[Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD Bioplasticity @BuckyIsotope]

What’s your favorite song about walking like an Egyptian

[Ryan Stiles @WhoseRyanStiles]

I’m so sick of old rich white men.
Except you Drew Carey.
Thank you for my house.

[$B @BrendanDaGawd]

Ass niggas
Titty niggas
Thigh niggas
All living in perfect harmony until the feet niggas attacked