Jimpa

Grind on the mind.

[Jimpa @NoSootNoPlay]

@BuckyIsotope fkn machine man

[Jimpa @NoSootNoPlay]

@s_scotcherson @InternetHippo Thank you, for the genuine laugh this brought me.

[Phil Jamesson @PhilJamesson]

Officer: do you know why I pulled you over
Me: no sir
My Parrot: hell yea I love driving 86 mph without a seatbelt! my name is phil jamesson

[Jimpa @NoSootNoPlay]

@jasminevdon There be dragons

[Will Sennett @Senn_Spud]

(Cognitive behavioral therapy enjoyer I just cut off in traffic) Think positively. He is probably in a rush for a reason. Maybe he’s late for a job interview. Maybe his wife is giving birth

Me: I’m da king of da highway

[Jimpa @NoSootNoPlay]

@InternetHippo getting all warm imagining a knock on the door, followed by ” hello, i live for those three seconds every day, from when i wake up until i remember how everything is”

[ellewasamistake @ellewasamistake]

joker: if you kill me, you can save all these people

batman: no, if i kill you, that means that i'm no different from you

joker:

batman:

joker: have you ever heard of the trolley problem

[Cohen is a ghost @skullmandible]

most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns

[Jimpa @NoSootNoPlay]

@jonatanpppp Lärdomar från ett långt liv; håll dig väl med ishallsvaktmästarn och kocken på arbetsplatsen.

[Jimpa @NoSootNoPlay]

@jonatanpppp Otroligt. Är fan längre än en annan.

[Piece @Piecezilla]

Putting a bell around a cow's neck to circumvent its stealthiness is just wrong. I say let them hunt.

[Jimpa @NoSootNoPlay]

@bjornbom Samma dag, tydligen.

[Pamela Colloff @pamelacolloff]

I once watched a colleague (who had just returned to work after maternity leave) highlight every email in her inbox and press delete. When she saw the look on my face, she shrugged and said, "If they really need to talk to me, they'll find me." I think of her nearly every day.

[Jimpa @NoSootNoPlay]

Och så över till morgontrafiken. På riksväg 77 rapporteras det om långa köer mellan Gottröra och Rimbo, och alternativa färdvägar bör övervägas. Flera inringare meddelar att anledningen verkar vara en Volvo kombi som håller hastighetsbegränsningarna.

[prance @bocxtop]

the war on drugs was such a crazy concept "let's spend 2 billion dollars to fight weed" and then weed won lmao