Bedders

The thinking woman's Chuckle Brother

[Bedders @NoWayOfSnowing]

@FalconryFinance Just spitting facts, ma'am

[Bedders @NoWayOfSnowing]

@DN35GTFC @GtfcSimpsons I dared to dream 😔

[Bedders @NoWayOfSnowing]

@AliceBeddoes @AaronBastani You want it banned twice?

[Bedders @NoWayOfSnowing]

@AliceBeddoes @AaronBastani It's already banned

[Tom Whipple @whippletom]

I tried the government's new AI "Jobcentre in your pocket" chatbot. Could it write me a CV? It could.

It also suggested that I should consider employment law and whether I've been discriminated against.

Key detail: I'm a parrot.

[Tim Burgess @Tim_Burgess]

Retweet for a chance to win!

We are giving away 4 pairs of Sproston socks (one pair each to 4 winners)

They will be available to order from our online store from 10am Friday May 29th to 11pm Monday June 1st (winners announced 9am Friday)

[Bedders @NoWayOfSnowing]

@DN35GTFC Probably best to have a scout at both training grounds to be safe

[Bedders @NoWayOfSnowing]

@KyleTalbot97 @JohnTondeur @SalfordCityFC Meech him

[Bedders @NoWayOfSnowing]

@RobMoore_1 We'll get promoted without winning either manager or player all season. Poor show Rogers for getting in the team of the season

[Bedders @NoWayOfSnowing]

Thrilleia #IconicStarWarsInASongOrMovie

[Rochdale AFC (P) @officiallydale]

90+6' MANI DIESERUVWE. WOW.

A cross from the back stick is powered home by the head of our number nine. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!

#rafc 1-0 #york

[Bedders @NoWayOfSnowing]

@larkholmelad 21/09/1925

[Bedders @NoWayOfSnowing]

21/09/1925, nothing ever changes #gtfc

[Sama Hoole @SamaHoole]

Keith is a three-year-old Anglo-Nubian goat in a field in Devon.

Keith has opened 7 gates, occupied a barn roof for 11 consecutive days, cleared an entire knotweed stand worth £4,000 to remove chemically, eaten Steve's bindweed, been in the churchyard twice, been in the road an estimated 14 times, eaten the water heater instructions, been in Dave's kitchen (standing there, not eating anything, just standing), and filed the structural details of every fence on the farm into a memory that has never once been cleared.

He has done all of this while also being the single most cost-effective conservation intervention on the property.

These are not separate facts. They are the same fact.

Keith does not distinguish between the work and the escape. The escape is work. The work is escape. The fence is a project. The project is completed. The project leads to the next project. The knotweed leads to the churchyard. The churchyard leads to the road. The road leads back to the east ditch. The east ditch was cleared in one season.

There is a man named Steve who has filed twenty-nine formal complaints about Keith.

Steve's bindweed is gone.

Steve does not yet understand that these are the same story.

Dave has £387 in gate receipts, a positive net outcome column on every row since entry seventeen, a churchyard booking for next month, and a corner post with a 4mm flex that Keith has known about since Margot's visit and has not yet acted on.

Not yet.

Keith is not done.

Keith is never done.

Keith is ten thousand years of Zagros Mountain goat compressed into a Devon field, and the fence between him and the rest of the world has always been a negotiating position rather than a boundary.

Be ungovernable. Do the work. Leave the field better than you found it.

The knotweed is at 6%.

Keith is thinking.

[Bedders @NoWayOfSnowing]

@larkholmelad Great connection to find, bet it was an exciting discovery

[Bedders @NoWayOfSnowing]

@larkholmelad I think it was through https://t.co/2bLVS69dtb probably a letter to the Grimsby Evening Telegraph

[Bedders @NoWayOfSnowing]

@m_fox85 @cezthesocialist Are all our school grounds going to be declared international waters?

[Bob From Accounts 🚲 @BobFromAccounts]

If I am not mistaken, this is the 15-minute city you are all petrified of

[Bedders @NoWayOfSnowing]

@DN35GTFC Can we do a follow up for throw ins?

[Bedders @NoWayOfSnowing]

@pete65796814965 @DanicaPriest Load the company with debt, stop paying tax and suppliers but keep paying yourself. Company goes bust, owners restart with a clean slate often buying assets of old company at a reduced price

[Bedders @NoWayOfSnowing]

@DN35GTFC @Youngy316 This needs a @SadCornerFlags before I believe you are truly sorry