NGM Gottfried

Illegitimate Son of Norm Macdonald and Gilbert Gottfried

[NGM Gottfried @NormGottfried]

The late Titan submersible looks like an underwater Fleshlight

[NGM Gottfried @NormGottfried]

Who doesn't think Trump lawyer Joe Tacopina is Luca Brasi from the Godfather?

[NGM Gottfried @NormGottfried]

The only democratic part of Russia is its military. There, its generals die alongside its enlisted.

[NGM Gottfried @NormGottfried]

Why is @realDonaldTrump becoming an official resident of the Sunshine State? Hint: homestead exemption when bankrupt.

[NGM Gottfried @NormGottfried]

So @realDonaldTrump has left New York for a younger, hotter state. What's new? #Florida

[NGM Gottfried @NormGottfried]

Trump had a meeting with Nancy @SpeakerPelosi today. And like most of his meetings with ladies, it only lasted "a few" minutes. #TrumpTantrum

[NGM Gottfried @NormGottfried]

Wait! Didn't Kate Hepburn die years ago??
#RIPLagerfeld #RIPKarlLagerfeld @KarlLagerfeld

[NGM Gottfried @NormGottfried]

So today Ronna ROMNEY McDaniel has finally cried Uncle, eh?
https://t.co/zh3SULyJbH

[Ronna McDaniel @RonnaMcDaniel]

POTUS is attacked and obstructed by the MSM media and Democrats 24/7. For an incoming Republican freshman senator to attack @realdonaldtrump as their first act feeds into what the Democrats and media want and is disappointing and unproductive.

[NGM Gottfried @NormGottfried]

.@HillaryClinton sends classified information on private email.
Trump: Lock her up!

.@IvankaTrump sends classified information on private email.
Trump: Knock her up!
#IvankasEmails

[NGM Gottfried @NormGottfried]

.@HillaryClinton sends classified information on private email.
Trump: Lock her up!

.@IvankaTrump sends classified information on private email.
Trump: Tie her up!
#IvankasEmails

[NGM Gottfried @NormGottfried]

.@HillaryClinton sends classified information on private email.
Trump: Lock her up!

.@IvankaTrump sends classified information on private email.
Trump: Tie her up!
#IvankasEmails

[NGM Gottfried @NormGottfried]

Iran President Rouhani: Trump, do not play with the lion's tail.

Trump: There's tail? Where can I get some?

https://t.co/kZjDip2pLv

[NGM Gottfried @NormGottfried]

@TomArnold #PeePeeTapes https://t.co/7LH5hzrTOi

[NGM Gottfried @NormGottfried]

Putin did not give a "strong and powerful" denial about #peetape. So by @realDonaldTrump logic, Russia ABSOLUTELY does HAVE the #PeePeeTape!
@StephenAtHome @colbertlateshow @CNN

[NGM Gottfried @NormGottfried]

Putin did not give a "strong and powerful" denial about #peetape. So by @realDonaldTrump logic, Russia ABSOLUTELY does HAVE the #PeePeeTape!
@StephenAtHome @colbertlateshow @CNN

[NGM Gottfried @NormGottfried]

Here's a joke:
Why did @larry_kudlow's heart attack him?
- It found out the "special place in Hell" is actually Kudlow's Body!
#RIPLarryKudlow
https://t.co/4kxZBW5IqV

[NGM Gottfried @NormGottfried]

WHAT a way to find out Cocaine and Alcohol DO NOT MIX!!! #RIPLarryKudlow
https://t.co/4wfPayB1Jq
https://t.co/4kxZBW5IqV

[NGM Gottfried @NormGottfried]

Boy, COCAINE is a helluva drug. #RIPLarryKudlow
https://t.co/T5RCYa3WYz
https://t.co/4wfPayB1Jq

[NGM Gottfried @NormGottfried]

Trump flack @larry_kudlow says Canadian PM @JustinTrudeau has "special place in Hell". Well, you'll soon find out for yourself if it's true or not. Am I right, Larry?? #heartattack #cocaine
https://t.co/CetQGRmgqA

[NGM Gottfried @NormGottfried]

What musical instrument transmits Lyme disease?
The metronome.

[NGM Gottfried @NormGottfried]

Trump just let black grandma #AliceMarieJohnson out from her life sentence. Did Melania @FLOTUS take her place?
#WheresMelania #noonecares
https://t.co/zmU6q2RUTT