jonathan

jonathan

[jonathan @NormalJonathan]

Ranked R6 games at platinum ELOs or higher basically come down to whether your team’s hacker can beat their team’s hacker

[jonathan @NormalJonathan]

@Boldyboy1975 First girl is not wearing a seatbelt AND has her feet on the dashboard, both of which are extremely dangerous

[jonathan @NormalJonathan]

If I was the president, I would cut the red tape and let the politicians in D.C. know that Americans are trying to put food on the table for their families!

[jonathan @NormalJonathan]

@johnloeber

[jonathan @NormalJonathan]

@rowdytellezbian The IARC classification system is based on how strong the evidence is that something causes cancer, not how carcinogenic it is. This is like saying you should never go outside because sunlight is also a class 1a carcinogen

[jonathan @NormalJonathan]

This was the hyoid bone’s big moment

[jonathan @NormalJonathan]

One time my eighth grade science teacher was talking about Britain and out of the blue went, “ahh, this country would be so much better if we used the parliamentary system,” as if a class of 8th graders would have opinions on the pros and cons of the British parliamentary system

[jonathan @NormalJonathan]

The Polish version of Drake: You used to call me on the Polish Version of a Cell Phone

[josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99]

Health officials are warning the public to be on the lookout for this virus

[jonathan @NormalJonathan]

@ProfSirera Not to be pedantic but that is a picture of a rhinoceros viper, Bitis nasicornis

[jonathan @NormalJonathan]

Yo momma’s so stupid doctors had to remove a tapeworm from her because she accidentally ate tape so she ate a tapeworm because she thought they ate tape

(Author’s note: this is a rough translation of an ancient Sumerian joke)

[jonathan @NormalJonathan]

The lack of African and Middle Eastern countries feels a bit conspicuous

[arctotherium @arctotherium42]

You can tell when this was written within a couple of years - earlier and it would be too mindlessly anti-American, later and the author would've been cancelled for portraying too many white countries positively in his poem.

[jonathan @NormalJonathan]

@Boxy_FT Does Bibi actually smoke cigars or did they add one to make him look more sinister

[jonathan @NormalJonathan]

@realmeowbah Do you think the Talmud was a single book written by a guy named H. Polano

[jonathan @NormalJonathan]

@sbirlios That’s like saying you shouldn’t flush a toilet because a piece of crap has been there for centuries

[jonathan @NormalJonathan]

@captaincaleb9 Quirky anger issues girl talking to Arthur Morgan and Hobo Johnson

[jonathan @NormalJonathan]

How it feels to wake up next to a cup from Jersey Mike’s

[jonathan @NormalJonathan]

On my dr Frankenstein shit

[jonathan @NormalJonathan]

“Mad Men” is about what it’s like to be an editor for the satirical paper published at your fairly prestigious state school

[jonathan @NormalJonathan]

@hecubian_devil You’re a girl so I’m not sure why you care about that…?