TheNoonNormal

A quick and funny guide to the new normal with @SteveBenaquist. Fridays at noon. Since May 2020.
#blacklivesmatter

[TheNoonNormal @NormalNoon]

Well, E. Jean Carroll can now afford to flesh out that E. with a kickass full first name.
I suggest “Ehh, Pay Up, Biiitch!”
#victory #staydown #keepdefamingandpaymoredumbass

[TheNoonNormal @NormalNoon]

I kinda thought there would be a specific moment when I’d leave this platform. Instead it’s gotten more empty, more useless, more garbage, like a dying neighborhood you drive quickly through and never stop in anymore.

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

Chicago White Sox have players named Burger AND Bummer??
L.A., let’s step up and draft Food Truck and Nepo Baby.

#chw #whitesox #dodgers #ladodgers

[TheNoonNormal @NormalNoon]

@stevebenaquist Second hand is made of granite.

[Robert Reich @RBReich]

What I always hear: “We can’t afford to pay our workers $15 an hour.”

What I never hear: “We can’t afford to pay our CEO millions of dollars a year.”

Funny how that works.

[TheNoonNormal @NormalNoon]

@ryleenewton “Almost” because he has sex sometimes, or because his celibacy was kinda voluntary? Inquiring minds gots 2 kno

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

The hell it isn’t. It’s the only brand of house paint I use.

[TheNoonNormal @NormalNoon]

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

[TheNoonNormal @NormalNoon]

@stevebenaquist Is the answer: Dave?

[TheNoonNormal @NormalNoon]

This really could go either way.

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

I’ve been singing “Puff the Magic Dragon” in various voices to my cat for the last half hour.
Is my life:

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

Or before!

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

A reminder this #StPatrickDay: go to an Irish bar, or you're kind of missing the point. https://t.co/BBn459ZQ9y #StPatricksDay2023

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

From the producers of Cocaine Bear, in collaboration with the Hallmark Channel: Cooking Sherry Tabbycat

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

What a headache dealing with @AmericanExpress. 3 months ago I made a simple request to change the payment day to match my other credit cards, and they still haven't done it. The discrepancy has caused me to miss a date and although #amex is 3 months late, I'm paying the late fee.

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

Mark Ruffalo scanning lists of reporters and EPA workers for his role in the inevitable movie about the #NorfolkSouthernDerailment.
#EastPalenstineOH

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

The little “boom…doodloo” at the end of TikToks is already like a rimshot after a hacky joke.

With the bonus of a corporate brand stamping itself on everyone else’s work.

[TheNoonNormal @NormalNoon]

@stevebenaquist The Ottoman Empire losing control of Palestine!

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

When you’re vibing, and the vibe is vibey, THAT’s #vibes

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

Superstar in music genre deeply associated with ostentatious displays of patriotism SHOCKS with performance of national anthem at event deeply associated with ostentatious displays of patriotism

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

Would Paul Rudd have the career he has if his name were Paul Fudd?