Kiernan Nos

Howdy

[Kiernan Nos @NosKiernan]

I watch one Instragram post of a baby ripping a ludicrously fart and the content algorithm decides I am in the 23-35 yr old digital parent niche. No. Gimme my farts back.

[Kiernan Nos @NosKiernan]

Fun fact: nose hairs look remarkably like eye lashes when they fall out, however when you blow a wish with one, the results are similar to that of a monkey paw

[Kiernan Nos @NosKiernan]

Fuck your zodiac sign, who are you casting as your emotions for your own Inside Out movie? I’ll go first

[Kiernan Nos @NosKiernan]

When is a rock opera film with the set/costume design of Flash Gordon, the story telling style of Mamma Mia, and “The Battle at Garden’s Gate” soundtrack gonna be made?

[Kiernan Nos @NosKiernan]

The year 2036: My daughter brings her bf over to meet my wife and I for the first time. Little does he know I am a senior editor at Wikipedia. I lean in and tell him, “Whatever you do to my daughter, I will add to your ‘early life and controversy’ section bud.”

[Kiernan Nos @NosKiernan]

Hey y’all, if you’re into EDM or just looking to check out a new artist give my friend Hyun’s new single a listen

https://t.co/WEO3ncfbwX

[Kiernan Nos @NosKiernan]

@JHunty12 She knows what she picked

[Kiernan Nos @NosKiernan]

You and your family are gathered in your yard. Your gender reveal party is immaculate, and you pop the balloons. Red sprays everywhere, you realize it’s not blood, it’s tomato sauce. Your baby is Italian

[Kiernan Nos @NosKiernan]

NFTs are to America as tulips were to the 1600s Dutch

[Kiernan Nos @NosKiernan]

@JHunty12 No no, thank you

[Kiernan Nos @NosKiernan]

Has this one been done yet?

[Kiernan Nos @NosKiernan]

@JHunty12 Thanks dude

[Kiernan Nos @NosKiernan]

A pizza but it’s made entirely of thin crust tiny corner pieces

[Kiernan Nos @NosKiernan]

Lofthouse cookies have found the ideal zone of being controversial without being problematic

[Kiernan Nos @NosKiernan]

In my next life I would like to be reincarnated as a capybara

[Kiernan Nos @NosKiernan]

My girlfriend brought up an interesting idea that gnocchi and mochi are essentially the same thing, but it appears that the Italians have committed copyright infringement

[Kiernan Nos @NosKiernan]

Jurassic Park but with big tech companies

[Kiernan Nos @NosKiernan]

A whole generation is conditioned to be productive and work when lo-fi hip hop beats start playing

[Kiernan Nos @NosKiernan]

@mikersh The brain behind this tweet

[Kiernan Nos @NosKiernan]

Why are girls in beat up little cars always the ones driving like they in a fast and furious movie?