Andrew R.

[Andrew R. @Not2SpicyAndrew]

I ate too many sour Skittles and now my tongue is molting. I wonder if it will turn into a beautiful butterfly?

[Andrew R. @Not2SpicyAndrew]

I need to be asleep right now!!!

#tooSpicy I repeat #TooSpicy !!!!

[Andrew R. @Not2SpicyAndrew]

@JrYoshy So he's back on for guardians?

[Andrew R. @Not2SpicyAndrew]

Promotion interview

Boss: Alrighty so I'm going to ask you one more question.

Me: Sure!

Boss: You're not getting the promotion, ok?

Me: I mean I guess that's a question

[Andrew R. @Not2SpicyAndrew]

And now for your weekly fortune:
Wear something nice this week... If you dare! The next person to cat call you will be supernatural compelled to adopt ever stray cat within a 10 mile radius.

#MondayMotivation

#NotTooSpicy

#SponsorMe

#Anyone

[Andrew R. @Not2SpicyAndrew]

@sarahchaffers I'm glad you know your place. 😎👉👉

[Andrew R. @Not2SpicyAndrew]

And now for your weekly fortune:
You will become a Gemini in the near future. You'd best start looking for a twin.

#MondayMotivation

#NotTooSpicy

#SponsorMe

#Anyone

[Andrew R. @Not2SpicyAndrew]

I only put my hands in fancy soup

#NotTooSpicy
#SponsorMe
#Anyone

[Andrew R. @Not2SpicyAndrew]

@sarahchaffers Hold up! Why can't they be edgy existential jokes? Arguably the highest level of Comedy.

[Andrew R. @Not2SpicyAndrew]

Life is short and uncertain. I know this to be... And yet, I take long poops.

#rebel #thuglife
#NotTooSpicy
#SponsorMe
#Anyone

[Andrew R. @Not2SpicyAndrew]

And now for your weekly fortune:
A secret wizard will pass by you. Keep an open eye, he's very secret. DO NOT BLINK THIS WEEK, for who knows when this kind of encounter will happen again... Well, we know.

#MondayMotivation

#NotTooSpicy

#SponsorMe

#Anyone

[Andrew R. @Not2SpicyAndrew]

@PeterKochanek Just by a movie theater

[Andrew R. @Not2SpicyAndrew]

If an Oreo falls in the forest does it make a sound?

[Andrew R. @Not2SpicyAndrew]

@sarahchaffers maybe...
(•-•)>🍫

[Andrew R. @Not2SpicyAndrew]

@sarahchaffers Woah! #MammaShootingForTheRebound
How does your dad feel about this?
#PoorPapa

[Andrew R. @Not2SpicyAndrew]

#JessieSmollett best be taken off #Empire. While it is the less command form, what he did( amongst the many other wrongs he committed here) is racism. There's such heavy traffic on one side of the road that we forget it's a two way street.

[Bill Nyquil the Science Guyquil @lingoflux]

People who post Kierkegaard quotes are scrubs

[Andrew R. @Not2SpicyAndrew]

"History may be a very reputable science, but it must not become so conceited as to undertake to do what the Father is to do, to array Christ in glory, costuming Him in the brilliant robes of the consequences, as though that were the Second Advent"
#SørenKierkegaard
#NotTooSpicy

[Andrew R. @Not2SpicyAndrew]

Mr. & Mrs. Fish are arguing... It's escalating. On top of that, Mr. Fish was just laid off.

Mr. Fish: * openly sobbing * I'm going out to get some fresh air.

Mrs. Fish: * Gasp * no!
But she was to late.

#NotTooSpicy

#SponsorMe

#Anyone

[Andrew R. @Not2SpicyAndrew]

"Do not call God... thicc!" - @lingoflux

... I had just called God "The Thicc I Am" moments before.
#NotTooSpicy