NotSteveElls

I am not Steve Ells, the former CEO/Founder/Co-CEO of Chipotle. Parody account.

[NotSteveElls @NotSteveElls]

High school me: Let’s open a restaurant!
Adult Me: I’m rich and bored. Let’s move the company to Newport Beach and let a Taco Bell exec run the place.

[Chipotle @ChipotleTweets]

High school me: Let's go hang out at Chipotle!
Adult me: Why are there so many high school kids here?

[NotSteveElls @NotSteveElls]

Say it with me- “Taco Bell”

[Chipotle @ChipotleTweets]

Some of y'all mispronounce Chipotle and it shows.

[NotSteveElls @NotSteveElls]

@ChipotleTweets Any bowl I’m eating in my manhattan high rise while former employees are living off of cereal.

[NotSteveElls @NotSteveElls]

@ChipotleTweets Unpopular opinion(so I’ve been told by lifelong employees), held by Chipotle execs like myself: Profits > People

[NotSteveElls @NotSteveElls]

Unpopular opinion(so I’ve been told by lifelong employees), held by Chipotle execs like myself: Profits > People

[Chipotle @ChipotleTweets]

Unpopular opinion: Corn Salsa > Guac

[NotSteveElls @NotSteveElls]

@ChipotleTweets Naturally, since firing hundreds of lifelong employees by moving the office from Denver to California doesn’t exactly scream “human connection”

[NotSteveElls @NotSteveElls]

That’s how we make them since we’re based in California now. Think of it as a California twist on the food you used to like.

[NotSteveElls @NotSteveElls]

Only available online though. We haven’t set up stores to make them when customers ask. Also- say goodbye to bogo coupons, and any type of “burrito buck”. Problem with your order? Too bad. We got rid of managers’ ability to comp a meal. (We really don’t care)

[Action News on 6abc @6abc]

Chipotle offers bowl options for Keto, Paleo, Whole 30 diet plans. https://t.co/I6roCwdV8u

[NotSteveElls @NotSteveElls]

@stefuhneer @ChipotleTweets I’m so glad you’re enjoying our “it’s just just a damn salad” bowl!

[NotSteveElls @NotSteveElls]

📍starts Chipotle
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📍 Gave Denver great jobs |
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📍 Approves Taco Bell exec as new CEO. Adios Denver.

[Chipotle @ChipotleTweets]

📍starts Whole30
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📍 buys groceries for meal prep |
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📍 goes to Chipotle anyway

[NotSteveElls @NotSteveElls]

Or, possibly- we failed to listen to our customers.

[Chipotle @ChipotleTweets]

If you get extra guac and didn’t order it, that’s our way of flirting with you.

[NotSteveElls @NotSteveElls]

With the HQ move to California, most can just pretend they work 1 more day, period.

[Chipotle @ChipotleTweets]

Be thankful for burritos. And that you only have to pretend to work 1 more day this week.

[NotSteveElls @NotSteveElls]

Mmmm.....smells like regret.

[Chipotle @ChipotleTweets]

We made Scratch and Sniff stickers. We won’t tell anyone if you just tried to smell your screen. https://t.co/eXqooUBBdv

[NotSteveElls @NotSteveElls]

📁 Chipotle
└ 📁 Corporate Culture
└ 📁 Loyalty to Employees
└ ⚠️ This folder is empty

[Chipotle @ChipotleTweets]

📁 Chipotle
└ 📁 Burrito ingredients
└ 📁 Artificial Ingredients
└ ⚠️ This folder is empty

[NotSteveElls @NotSteveElls]

@BarbarianCap @AndyKnny @NotBrianNiccol Hey- I checked out a long time ago, well before I passed the buck to Señor TacosForANiccol, plus I live in NYC, so Newport Beach is a steal in comparison.

[NotSteveElls @NotSteveElls]

and how Chipotle is now Taco Bell because I sold out, got a golden parachute, and passed the buck on food safety to the dude who made Dorito tacos for stoners.

[Chipotle @ChipotleTweets]

Crazy how your phone is a computer, your watch is a phone, and chorizo is back.

[NotSteveElls @NotSteveElls]

Either way, I win. Keep that stock price up, people!

[Chipotle @ChipotleTweets]

“Burrito or bowl” is like choosing between winning the lottery or winning the lottery in a pile of lottery money.

[NotSteveElls @NotSteveElls]

I’m not saying I sold out and gave my job away to the guy who brought us Doritos Loco Taco frankenfood either, yet here I am, trying to persuade you to eat “4th meal.”

[Chipotle @ChipotleTweets]

We’re not saying we’re not testing bacon in our NYC Next Kitchen. 😏

[NotSteveElls @NotSteveElls]

When your friend says “I’m working somewhere else now, I quit Chipotle yesterday” Over 50 friends of friends gave that look so far since I left and @NotBrianNiccol announced the move to Newport Beach.

[Chipotle @ChipotleTweets]

When your friend says “let’s eat somewhere else, we had Chipotle yesterday”

[NotSteveElls @NotSteveElls]

"Come over, I'm getting Chipotle" is the same thing @NotBrianNiccol told me too, so Ron and I did." He liked it so much he's taking it all with him to Newport Beach.