stormi⛈

giraffe enthusiast

[stormi⛈ @NotStormi]

y’all gotta stop saying 2020 can’t get any worse, this bitch thinks it’s a challenge

[stormi⛈ @NotStormi]

when u slip and let people know u have feelings

[stormi⛈ @NotStormi]

my mom just called my dad a big ass baby bitch bc he didn’t clear the snow off her car this morning

[stormi⛈ @NotStormi]

@mal_brothers I’m fine with calling them donut wholes, but they’re known as donut holes which isn’t right

[stormi⛈ @NotStormi]

donut holes should be called donut centers or bits that make donuts have holes

there ain’t no holes in em, I’m tired of the lies

[stormi⛈ @NotStormi]

@mal_brothers A hole is a hollowed out empty space, so no. The removal of the center created the hole, but it’s not actually the hole. Therefore, it’s inappropriate to call them donut holes. Donut centers are a much more apt name.

[stormi⛈ @NotStormi]

being an adult is having to say good morning until you die

[stormi⛈ @NotStormi]

according to my dad we can’t invite people over rn bc we don’t have the beans in the microwave yet. southern hospitality y’all

[stormi⛈ @NotStormi]

Who tf do these chip companies think they are putting more nacho cheese doritos in a variety pack than cool ranch? Cool ranch is the best and that’s not even an opinion that’s just a fact at this point

[stormi⛈ @NotStormi]

@HaleyNichole15 I can’t believe it

[stormi⛈ @NotStormi]

so if it’s not butter, what is it?

[stormi⛈ @NotStormi]

Why do women’s deodorants still suck? It’s summer, it’s hot I’m a sweaty bitch like 95% of the time and I would like sweat protection without smelling like freshly slaughtered boar or whatever other overcompensating shit men’s deodorant smells like

[stormi⛈ @NotStormi]

I’m trying to pick a day for my next mental breakdown so if anyone has any scheduling conflicts let me know

[stormi⛈ @NotStormi]

Life’s hard when you’re stupid and bad at parking

[stormi⛈ @NotStormi]

Easy ways to tell if someone is in the mob:
1. Big bald dude with a single earring
2. Deep v-neck shirt displaying a gold chain with an alarming amount of chest hair
3. Hands clasped menacingly in front of their body aka the mob pose

[stormi⛈ @NotStormi]

a spicy butthole is the key to a good life

[stormi⛈ @NotStormi]

@cwvaughan1 Which is the worst party ever so I propose we change GOP to something more representative of their members like “Geriatric Offensive People”

[stormi⛈ @NotStormi]

It sucks that the GOP is what it is bc a grand ol party sounds pretty fun

[stormi⛈ @NotStormi]

Paper clips make decent bobby pins. Also, I have mustard on my pants.

[stormi⛈ @NotStormi]

@HaleyNichole15