NOTUFATJESUS

CARPE DIEM. DAD2TWINGIRLS. PELICAN CUP CHAMP ‘19….ATX VIA BOERNE. HOOK'EM. BAR H RANCH LLANO COUNTY. 4 ACES IN GOLF. B NICE,TILL ITS TIME 2 NOT B! #LUCKYASA7

[Johnny Midnight ⚡️ @its_The_Dr]

Yep it’s good to have friends! 😂🤣

[Baldytrucker67 🟩⬜️🟧 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇵🇸 @67baldytrucker]

Wait till the end 👀

[Michael Warburton @For_Film_Fans]

Remembering the late great GENE WILDER — born 93yrs ago today.

BLAZING SADDLES (1974)

[NOTUFATJESUS @NotUfatJesus]

@mattlawson99 Tards 101!!! 😂

[NOTUFATJESUS @NotUfatJesus]

BIRD

[NOTUFATJESUS @NotUfatJesus]

@PeteNakos Oh my this is more embarrassing than beans above the frank!!!

[ClamFan @Clam_Fan]

A man arrives at the golf course bright and early and starts his round with an eagle, followed by a birdie, and then a hole-in-one on the third hole.

Right then his phone rings. It’s the hospital calling to tell him there has been a horrible accident, his wife is in critical condition, and he should get there immediately.

Quite stunned, he says he will head there right away.

But then he looks at his scorecard and thinks, ‘I may never play like this again.’

So he plays a few more holes, then a few more, and ultimately finishes all eighteen.

He ends with a career best 61 - shattering the club’s course record.

When he finally gets to the hospital, the doctor glares at him and says, “Your wife has been in here fighting for her life for three hours - while you were out playing golf?”

The man collapses in deep guilt.

The doctor pauses, then smirks, and says, “Relax man, I’m just messing with you. She died three hours ago. So, what’d you shoot?”

[College Sports Only @CSOonX]

Throwback Thursday:

20 years ago, Texas baseball head coach Augie Garrido goes apeshit after a late-season Longhorns loss.

Texas starts the College World Series on Saturday. 🤘

[Graham Coffey @GrahamCoffeyDC]

Sorsby gambled underage in Indiana and Ohio. Transferred to Texas Tech, and sent money to out-of-state proxies to place bets on his behalf while located in Texas, which is a federal crime

When I lived in Texas it viewed itself as a law and order state. Apparently AG Ken Paxton is more interested in flushing competition integrity for tens of thousands of student athletes.

None of these people have a single ounce of shame. There will be calls for federal action against Sorsby now, as it might be the only way to maintain the public trust in college sports.

As I explained below, it Texas Tech gave a shit about Brendan Sorsby the person they would be handing all of this much differently

[Brett Bayne @bretthbayne]

The irony of Texas Tech threatening a breach of contact action when that same university breached their employment contract with Mike Leach, never paid him, and then hid behind sovereign immunity to avoid paying out his contract.

[Message Board Geniuses @BoardGeniuses]

🚨BREAKING 🚨
Trusted sources in law enforcement tell MBG that Brendan Sorsby is set to be indicted on August 1.

[Barnaby Breaks History 🇺🇸 @CorpBarnaby]

🇺🇸 Most Badass Ballplayers: Combat Veteran Edition #2 Ted Williams

Ted Williams, widely regarded as the greatest pure hitter who ever lived, was one badass ballplayer.

Born August 30, 1918, in San Diego, California.

He made his major league debut with the Boston Red Sox in 1939 and quickly became one of the most feared hitters in baseball. In 1941, at just 22 years old, he hit .406, the last time any player has hit over .400 in a season.

He followed that up by winning another batting title in 1942. By the end of the 1942 season, Williams was already a superstar and widely considered the best hitter in the game.

Then, after the attack on Pearl Harbor, Williams enlisted in the United States Marine Corps and trained as a pilot.

He missed the 1943, 1944, and 1945 seasons, three full prime years of his career, while serving stateside during World War II.

When he returned in 1946, there were questions about whether he could pick up where he left off.

He answered them immediately, winning the American League MVP award in his first season back.

Over the next several years he continued to dominate, winning the Triple Crown in 1947 and another batting title in 1948.

When the Korean War broke out, Williams was recalled to active duty as a Marine Corps pilot.

In 1952 and 1953 he flew 39 combat missions over North Korea in the F9F Panther jet.

He often flew as wingman for future astronaut John Glenn.

On one mission his plane was hit by the enemy and caught fire. He made a successful belly landing and jumped out and ran off the wingtip to safety.

He was hit by enemy fire at least three times during his tour.

After Korea, Williams returned to baseball in 1953 and continued one of the most remarkable careers in baseball history.

He was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1966.

Ted Williams, superstar athlete, answered the call for his country twice.

Thank you, Ted! 🫡🇺🇸⚾

[🦊The SLY Silver Fox 2.0🦊 @FreedomHasWon]

George Carlin take on Environmentalists.
He’s spot on.

[NOTUFATJESUS @NotUfatJesus]

Hey @CodyC64 you still want to buy out those games to play Texas or try and fix the shit show you have now! You might want to save your money for legal fees. Under age gambling and using other peoples accounts to place bets on your own team. @TexasFootball @PatMcAfeeShow

[BWS @mere_de_rousses]

SMU got the death penalty for doing something the courts ultimately ruled the NCAA had no authority to prohibit.

I don’t think it’s possible to fully quantify the damage the NCAA inflicted on SMU football—or on the university itself. An entire generation of momentum, investment, and national relevance was wiped away. We are still the butt of jokes in many circles.

For the decades since, I’ve watched programs survive fake classes for athletes, academic fraud, recruiting scandals, sexual assault scandals, and even cases involving murder. The explanation was always the same:

“That’s different.”

Now a player who admits to betting on his own school’s games has received an injunction allowing him to continue his career.

But if betting on your own team’s games isn’t enough to trigger a bright-line defense of the integrity of college sports, then it’s fair to ask a question SMU fans have been asking for 40 years:

What exactly was so uniquely unforgivable about what SMU did?

Where is our restitution?

[David Burge @iowahawkblog]

I'm not sure Texas Tech is really getting this. Had they just been that scrappy underdog school on the plains with a wacky oil billionaire alumnus who showered them with millions to out-recruit the "blue bloods," I and everybody else would be high-fiving them with glee.

But this Sorsby thing is straight up taking a ginormous shit in the punchbowl. Nobody resents you winning, or paying your team well, it's that you are making excuses for someone who committed the ultimate sin in sports. And no, other teams aren't threatening to boycott you because they're "afraid of you," it's that by taking your giant shit in the punchbowl, you effectively voted yourself off the island.

[cinesthetic. @TheCinesthetic]

When Ben Stiller offered Tom Cruise the role in Tropic Thunder (2008), Cruise said, “I’ll do it but he needs fat hairy arms, giant prosthetic hands & he has to dance.” What started as a small cameo turned into one of the wildest performances of his career.

[ClamFan @Clam_Fan]

Charley Hull ripping a Newport 100, while tearing up Riviera on a US Open Woman’s Championship Sunday .. ya just don’t see this on the golf course so much anymore .. no judgement, and how could there be, she roasted the course and finished T2

[Super 70s Sports @Super70sSports]

If your coach doesn’t look like a cattle rancher who also runs a reputable whorehouse and your quarterback got more than 45 minutes of sleep before kickoff, you don’t even know what badassery is …

[Chris Walker @WalkerATX]

It's 1980 in Austin and you had no idea that Christopher Cross's song "Sailing" was about Lake Travis⛵️

LAKE TRAVIS, TX (@fox7austin)— When you think of the definitive yacht rock anthem, you probably picture the beaches of Malibu or the coast of Maui. But the ultimate masterpiece of the genre—Christopher Cross’s iconic, 5-time Grammy-winning hit "Sailing"—actually traces its roots straight to the choppy waters of Travis County. While Cross was born and raised in San Antonio, graduating from Alamo Heights High School, it wasn’t until he moved his musical ambitions up the road to Austin that the inspiration for his signature 1980 Billboard No. 1 single truly took shape during frequent trips across Lake Travis.
Cross has often noted that the classic track wasn’t written about an ocean getaway, but rather the genuine sense of escape he discovered in Travis County as he transitioned into adulthood. Reflecting on the local inspiration behind the legendary song, Cross shared: "It's about an older friend of mine who had a boat... and we would go out on Lake Travis. It was just a transition from being a kid to being an adult... just a very wonderful way to escape the transition of growing up." That peace he found on the lake ultimately became a song universally recognized as the absolute pinnacle of yacht rock.
This edited video includes shots of Lake Travis.