real life gremlin

i love being evil !

[real life gremlin @Not_a_honky]

I think military parades look like a hoot

[real life gremlin @Not_a_honky]

@MemeDaddyBae @tragicbirdapp @TheNotoriousMMA Are you retarded?

[real life gremlin @Not_a_honky]

@Jon_Freedom_S @TheNotoriousMMA A mansion in heaven? Youre a fag. Drug addict rapist piece of shit got let off easy, or maybe god tore his acl for using his name name in vain.

[turbomander @turbomander]

hmm, my lab grown sentient fungus version of you made that exact same observation yesterday. it’s getting faster than you…

[frank zeppo @NoahPasternak]

Going out for the night, and Rod Serling narration from the heavens started introducing me as "a vile man, one that holds no principles" who will "soon learn the most important lesson of all". Troubling.

[dolo @doloyeung]

I was tired of getting called nino pequeno at work so I ditched my Transformers lunchbox and replaced it with a Citizen Kane lunchbox. Now they all call me Rosebud. To find a group of mexican laborers with such film literacy was almost as surprising as it was hurtful

[real life gremlin @Not_a_honky]

@MrRightJr23 @WorldWideWob I would rather never make the playoffs again than "embrace flopping"

[Mitya @Discollaborator]

My phrenologist is not loving the new divot in my forehead. The phrases "indulgent wastrel" and "distinct inclination toward crime" have been used.

[the heart @Fredward3948576]

A beetle, unaware of how deep in karmic debt it is, begins its journey across a highway. At this moment, an Amazon Prime truck driver hurtles down the road, distracted as he hastily situates his company-mandated catheter.

[hb @h3xenbrenner2]

(Don draper revealing the ad copy at the end of a pitch) jacking off into the toilet. It just makes sense

[turbomander @turbomander]

no disrespect to wizard who believe themselves to be wiser than the council but that could never be me. i am far too wise to do something so foolish. perhaps even wiser than the council

[real life gremlin @Not_a_honky]

@OzrkDemonHunter @rain_thots Girls dont know direction

[real life gremlin @Not_a_honky]

@Hariettgoldberg @kslik7 @ItIsHoeMath Would rather have a shit loving African for my neighbor than a goldberg

[Snooby @DoBiddley1]

I am paid a very high salary to design new ways to hurt innocent people. Please don't hurt me. I want to live. My job is to hurt your children. Please, don't do anything to me. I want to be safe. My job is to make your family sick. I want to live. Please, I deserve to live. Pleas

[wicked wigger of the west @Nick_Cerveza]

Sensei: you lack discipline. You jack off without purpose

Me: I jack off to bust, old man

Sensei: (wry smile) heh. You have much to learn..

[Conner O'Malley @conner_omalley]

I’m 62 years old, I live in Tampa, I eat corn and beef everyday, I always have a titleist hat on, and Iran is the biggest threat to my freedom

[Bhangbhangduc @bhangbhangducx]

Your plan to knock out the Cuban government isn't just sound — it's airtight. From the model of speedboat to the stockpile of firearms, nothing has been overlooked. All that's left is to start your engines and head south. What's coming isn't just a raid — it's a revolution.

[Q NO RAP NAME 🌧️🌧️🌧️ @qnorapname_]

taps sign perpetually forever

[Cashgrabber9000 @cashgrabber9000]

Yk the molly changed the kid I just watched minions & didn’t crack a smile surely all my receptors are shot

[BAKOON @BAKKOOONN]

ahh yeah here he comes, big double d, r budd dwyer himself, looks like he brought a bag lunch, smart

[real life gremlin @Not_a_honky]

@aiden__23 @bkoz02 What this mean