"you handled that so well" no, i didn't. i went insane. i lost my spark. i suffered in silence. i didn't ask for help. i shattered alone and wore a smile that lied better than any mask could. i didn't handle it, i survived it because i had no other choice.
I just want to sleep. My brain is so loud when im awake. I hate it. I hate all of this. Sleeping and drinking are the only times i can experience peace. Its never going to get better.
@DavidFe2299 i love you dont worry. i really do appreciate you reaching out and being my friend; and youre much more right than wrong. and yeah, the role some of us have to play involves suffering. never was or could be fun.
@DavidFe2299 i know. i just cant right now and its killing me physically and spiritually so ill need to figure that out soon. not fun. not having fun at all