Olivia

Self-contained disaster.

[Olivia @OHeisey]

Catch me in my car singing “Bleeding Love” at the top of my lungs cause I don’t care what they say

[Olivia @OHeisey]

I’m so ready for fall and the fog and rain and playlists of melancholy un-love songs and sweaters and crisp air

[Olivia @OHeisey]

My coworker’s utter lack of concern, bordering on anger at any mention of, the environment and environmental impact makes me want to scream and put my head through a wall

[Boze Herrington, Library Owl 😴🧙‍♀️ @SketchesbyBoze]

everyone my age is getting married and I just want to retire to an English seaside cottage where I will walk my dog on the beach and fall in love with the ghost of a feisty but loving sea captain while transcribing his racy memoirs for posterity.

[Olivia @OHeisey]

I stopped. It got too bizarre to even guess

[Olivia @OHeisey]

I’ve decided to make it a game to see if I can guess lyrics before T-Swift says them. So far, I’m winning.

[Olivia @OHeisey]

Sometimes, when I feel like a failure, I like to remember it could be worse. I could’ve invented Ice Town

[Olivia @OHeisey]

@SophiaAnneWalz The cast is so good. And I love Greta Gerwig’s movies!

[Olivia @OHeisey]

Greedy and disgusting.

https://t.co/luLGaLhcBN via @NYTimes

[Olivia @OHeisey]

I try not to laugh in my coworker’s face every time she says she’s a coffee snob. You aren’t. Filling the coffee filter so full of Starbucks dark roast that grounds get into every cup doesn’t make you a snob. It makes you an imbecile

[Olivia @OHeisey]

Children today don’t have the luxury of knowing what it’s like to have mass shootings be a rarity. How many people have to die before the government takes steps to #EndGunViolence
@SenJeffMerkley
@RonWyden
@RepPeterDeFazio
@RepBonamici
@RepSchrader
@repgregwalden
@repblumenauer

[Olivia @OHeisey]

I don’t want to be famous. But I wouldn’t mind reaching a level of fame that’d get me on my favorite podcasts and Lip Sync Battle

[Olivia @OHeisey]

Do you ever get home from work, look in a mirror, and think: “Good god, did I look like this all day?”

[Olivia @OHeisey]

Just saw a little old lady getting into a new, red Mustang and if that’s not #goals I don’t know what is

[Olivia @OHeisey]

I’ll just be here in my khaki pants, drowning in the nostalgia of early 2000s Relient K (there’s nothing better)

[Olivia @OHeisey]

I’m eyebrow twins with Rachel Weisz circa 2008 and I’m not mad about it

[Olivia @OHeisey]

Humans have achieved earth stewardship level Denethor

[Olivia @OHeisey]

A continuation of my poor decision making and cold brew: the West Salem Roth’s has cold brew on tap, so I got a 64oz growler of it over the weekend. Who’s ready for some caffeine-fueled good times?

[Karamo @Karamo]

PSA: F*ck your summer body it’s about a Christmas body. 😂😂😂 Can’t stand my hating ass homie, had to get him together real quick. 🤷🏾‍♂️😜

[Olivia @OHeisey]

Prunes are just bigger, grosser raisins

[Olivia @OHeisey]

Started the day off with 20oz of cold brew. . . . I can now feel my heartbeat in my teeth