Pastor Obvious says obvious pastor things

My name isn't really 'Pastor Obvious' but I do tweet obvious things you might hear from a pastor.

[Pastor Obvious says obvious pastor things @ObviousPastor]

If you get an email with the subject line "Knock knock," don't open it.

It's probably just a Jehovah's Witness working from home.

[Pastor Obvious says obvious pastor things @ObviousPastor]

@Anon_Ape Rush ticked off a lot of people looking that happy

[Pastor Obvious says obvious pastor things @ObviousPastor]

Who did it better?

[Chet Churchpain @Churchpain]

The tags on pillows can only be removed by the consumer.
If you remove a tag you must then consume the pillow.

[Chet Churchpain @Churchpain]

It's always bothered me how badly skewed surveys are simply because 100% of survey participants are people willing to take a survey.

[Chet Churchpain @Churchpain]

I put a mirror in my Bible so that I can reflect on the scriptures.

[Chet Churchpain @Churchpain]

Do you ever feel paranoid that someone is watching you?
Remember, you are not alone!

[Bad Church Secertary @ChruchSecretary]

When Jesus turned water into wine it was a miracle.

When autocorrect turned "liquid" into "liquor" I had to meet with the deacons.

[Pastor Obvious says obvious pastor things @ObviousPastor]

@Churchpain It's a kebab

The formal name is shish kerabert

[Chet Churchpain @Churchpain]

If a Catholic church has a bus ministry, would that be considered Mass Transit?

[Chet Churchpain @Churchpain]

"Light yourself on fire with passion and people will come from miles to watch you burn"
- John Wesley

"Metaphorically"
- Me

[Chet Churchpain @Churchpain]

Time release coffee would be a "perk you later."

[Chet Churchpain @Churchpain]

I have a great idea for this year's Pentecost service!

[Chet Churchpain @Churchpain]

We still have a few minutes to use.
We still have a few minutes to use.
We still have a few minutes to use.
We still have a few minutes to use.
We still have a few minutes to use.
We still have a few minutes to use.
We still have a few minutes to use.
-Hillsong Worship

[Bad Church Secertary @ChruchSecretary]

I've been learning sigh language as an interpreter for the passive aggressive.

[Bad Church Secertary @ChruchSecretary]

I never got a degree.
I accidentally signed up for Collage and did 4 years of scrapbooking before I realized my mistake.

[Chet Churchpain @Churchpain]

Most people don't realize that Apple Pay is Pig-Latin for Papple.

[Chet Churchpain @Churchpain]

Submitting form Col 2:14 to the IRS to inform them that my debt was paid at the cross.

[Pastor Obvious says obvious pastor things @ObviousPastor]

When was the resurrection?

At Son Rise

[Anon Church Guy @MrChurchGuy]

I don't know what time Jesus rose from the dead, but I'm sure I was up for the sunrise service before that time.
It sure felt like an ungodly hour.

[Anon Church Guy @MrChurchGuy]

How they explained being late vs the real reason.

[Anon Church Guy @MrChurchGuy]

Them: How did you learn what you know about ministry?

Me: