OfficerSwank

Patrolling the streets of Oregon, keeping things Swanky. I'm married to a man, yet love Real Housewives. Roller skating enthusiast. Trump sucks...a lot.

[OfficerSwank @OfficerSwank]

When Karen said to Ray "so, I was in France ", it seemed like they haven't spoke or been in touch for weeks. It was so awkward and unnatural. #RHOP

[OfficerSwank @OfficerSwank]

@heathergay29 My favorite RHOSLC! My husband and I love you! And we are willing to travel to get some botox lady! Good for you lady boss😘

[OfficerSwank @OfficerSwank]

@GambleBreaux Missed you here in the US for some years babe! Still the absolute best! Thank god you have a sense of humor...unlike some newbies. 😜😘😘😘

[OfficerSwank @OfficerSwank]

@BestieSaysWhat read your bio. Where in the Matrix were we separated at birth?

[OfficerSwank @OfficerSwank]

@HargroveRachel @BravoTV @capthlr @Andy "Suck my dick"-Rachel-Loves Italian men, cussing, open mic days

[OfficerSwank @OfficerSwank]

@KyleRichards Hi doll. My husband and I are watching 'girls trip'. You are the sexiest, best body on that show. Please, please! Love yourself as much as we do! (2 gays) Your husband is not too bad either😜

[OfficerSwank @OfficerSwank]

@THETimHaynes @4by4Galloway Ugh. Why do you look better every year? So annoying.😄

[OfficerSwank @OfficerSwank]

@HargroveRachel I fucking love you lady. I've watched both seasons twice now (don't judge) and now I love your crazy ass even more. Lick my cooter. Love from 2 gays in Oregon!

[OfficerSwank @OfficerSwank]

@billmaher @kevinolearytv You look like you're favorite topic: shrunken grapes.

[OfficerSwank @OfficerSwank]

@jaewonnews it's pronounced 'Hines' at the picklefest. Not 'Hanes' like the underwear.

[OfficerSwank @OfficerSwank]

@gugoots Wait...do we work together?

[OfficerSwank @OfficerSwank]

@Smilan317 @dstiddypop43 Well played sir. Well played.

[OfficerSwank @OfficerSwank]

@TherealCANDIACE I hated shots more than anything as a child, but had to ride the struggle bus to go to 1st, 3rd, and 5th grade. Ugh.

[OfficerSwank @OfficerSwank]

@erikajayne I'm re-watching season 10 in Santa Barbara. I miss your joy, high pitched screams, and track suits. Love ya babe. You'll come out better than ever. 💜💚💙

[OfficerSwank @OfficerSwank]

@Betopless @cbassett33 @CateringCrunch (TR)Ashley has the nerve to walk back in her house twice after being thrown out. I was waiting for Candiace to physically remove her. She was too kind.

[OfficerSwank @OfficerSwank]

@cbassett33 @Betopless @CateringCrunch *PLEASE* Tell me you tweeted this with a butter knife in your hand! Your wife says and throws the best shade ever. She's too quick for some of the other ladies. 😎😎😎

[OfficerSwank @OfficerSwank]

@cbassett33 my husband and I love you, @TherealCANDIACE , your, um, let's go with 'tan shaft' and your snappy dressing. Looking forward to the cookbook! Those purple potato skins better be in there! 😄

[OfficerSwank @OfficerSwank]

@TherealCANDIACE has brought so much joy to my husband and myself's life..."I came from Jesus" just got quoted twice last night over our dinner party.

[OfficerSwank @OfficerSwank]

@RitchieTorres. Question. My husband and I (2 gay men) chose not to have children, therefore other than the tax credit for married, what benefits/tax credits, etc do we have to look forward to? Killed it on @billmaher

[OfficerSwank @OfficerSwank]

@_DestineyRose_ My husband and I don't want to be too forward, but will you be our best friend? We know ya busy boo! Love you gorgeous!💜💜💜

[OfficerSwank @OfficerSwank]

@BrianMalarkey my husband and I enjoy your level of crazy. Oh, and your cooking is awesome as fuck too.