Joseph Simmons

Humor writer that became a standup comedian. The standup comedy career went so well that I'm now a humor writer.

[Joseph Simmons @OfficialSlowJoe]

Happy New Year!

Also, based on how little I'm on Twitter, I should go ahead and say Happy Valentine's Day, Happy 4th of July, Happy Whenever the Fuck Your Birthday is, Happy Halloween, Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas and why not Happy New Year 2022.

[Joseph Simmons @OfficialSlowJoe]

@AutumnM54022 @konstructivizm

[Joseph Simmons @OfficialSlowJoe]

@whitbeck60413 @NFLSTROUD That is the dumbest take I’ve read in a while. Not a single player has ever made one of the most important financial and family decisions of their lives based on so-called “complaints” from a fan base. ALL fan bases have rabid fans, whiners and everything in between.

[Joseph Simmons @OfficialSlowJoe]

@SpeakerJohnson False equivalency much?

[Joseph Simmons @OfficialSlowJoe]

“I wish it was actually that big.”

~Melania Trump watching South Park

[Joseph Simmons @OfficialSlowJoe]

@DeetheBee @GovPressOffice India has a population of 1.3 BILLION people. Literally a BILLION more than the U.S. in its entirety. Yet has a smaller economy than just the state of California. So thank you for proving how great Cali is.

[Joseph Simmons @OfficialSlowJoe]

@AvaMAGAQueen @GovPressOffice Thank God.

[Joseph Simmons @OfficialSlowJoe]

ME: They shouldn't be doing this to immigrants!

MAGA: Then YOU keep them in YOUR house.

ME: They weren't homeless, you idiot. You're confusing your hates again.

[Joseph Simmons @OfficialSlowJoe]

@ProFootballTalk He'd definitely do his thing where he cuts someone you least expect in order to instill fear. He'd change the defensive scheme. He'd have to turn over the roster for his system. It would end up a rebuild, and the Bucs won't want that.

[Joseph Simmons @OfficialSlowJoe]

@ProFootballTalk As a Bucs fan that follows the team closely, I'd say that this will never happen. The Glazers are pretty hands-off, but they still have a good feel for the locker room and it's a great one right now. Belichick would change the entire dynamic, potentially not in a good way. (1)

[Joseph Simmons @OfficialSlowJoe]

@ProFootballTalk I know it's getting to be one of the oldest stadiums in the league, but it is still an amazing fan experience. I'm glad their plan is to renovate, not replace.

[Joseph Simmons @OfficialSlowJoe]

@lang549654 @Variety Hey genius, Bill didn't go on X, Variety did.

[Joseph Simmons @OfficialSlowJoe]

@GAFollowers Amazon Prime to show the Pay-Per-View rematch

[Joseph Simmons @OfficialSlowJoe]

@gregauman @ils620 @Hdjrirjrjrj333 He should get in. Seven years here, and a big part of the transformation of the franchise. I remember John Lynch mentioning a few players he wished could've experienced the Super Bowl 37 victory because they were a big part of the growth of the team, Hardy being one.

[Joseph Simmons @OfficialSlowJoe]

@gregauman Hate to lose him, but if/when we do, we'll just pluck another offensive mind from the McVay coaching tree and we'll be fine.

[Joseph Simmons @OfficialSlowJoe]

@Just_seam @gregauman Dammit it's fucking bugging me that I was rude. My sincere apologies. I'm usually the nice guy online, don't know why I douched out. Go Bucs.

[Joseph Simmons @OfficialSlowJoe]

@gregauman Coen has been amazing and I don't want to take anything away from him, but he's not the only factor. A) The OL is appreciably better because of Barton and another year of experience from everyone else. B) Bucky Irving helps ANY offense.

[Joseph Simmons @OfficialSlowJoe]

@ash_stuart_ @elonmusk @realDonaldTrump So we just have no government for that time? What a dumb idea.

[Joseph Simmons @OfficialSlowJoe]

@Just_seam @gregauman True, I could've been nicer