Ally Claire

Occasionally Hilarious :) 💁🏼‍♀️
📸: @AllysonClaire

[Ally Claire @OhAllyClaire]

@Starbucks babes… I spend so much money here… can we please get *less-old* oatmeal accoutrements?? 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

[Ally Claire @OhAllyClaire]

The sound of children coughing has to be the Muzak they play in Hell.

[Ally Claire @OhAllyClaire]

I’m not a gambler, but all 3 of my kids pooped BEFORE we left the house this morning and if that’s not a reason to buy a lottery ticket I don’t know what is ✌️

[Ally Claire @OhAllyClaire]

Day 1 of asking for A Goofy Movie Tonies

- After Today
- Lester’s Possum Park
- Stand Out
- I 2 I
30 minutes of storytime INCLUDING the perfect cast.

I’ve done the work for you… please make this happen.
@Disney @DisneyMusic @tonies_UK
Okthanksbye

[Ally Claire @OhAllyClaire]

All of @DJohnsonPGA 's future pressers should be done under the influence.
That's all. #rydercup2020 #TeamUSA

[Ally Claire @OhAllyClaire]

Good Morning to #ZacBrown and @McLarenF1 ONLY! #F1

[Ally Claire @OhAllyClaire]

@NBCOlympics -- Surely the Men's Golf CADDIES will recieve medals alongside their champion counterparts, right? Asking for a friend...#TokyoOlympics #Olympics #Tokyo2020 @GlorifiedDonkey

[Ally Claire @OhAllyClaire]

Dear #BritishGP ,
First - THAT start gave me actual life. Liiiiiffffffeeeeee.
Now, let's cool it with the blame shit. It's a RACE. In a RACE you do what you need to do to win.... because it is a RACE.
Let's give both drivers 2 extra points for pageantry.

[Ally Claire @OhAllyClaire]

@HardFactorNews - Less than 24 hours after the 1st annual #FatBoySummer Pigs-In-A-Blanket Power Hour, and my husband is flying out of the shower slinging around his "BONNUUSSSS DOOOOGGGGGGGGG"
@HardFactorMark @HardFactorWes @HardFactorWill @HardFactorPat

[Ally Claire @OhAllyClaire]

@HardFactorNews did I miss the power hour livestream??

[Ally Claire @OhAllyClaire]

COME ON CHECO!!! DONT WASTE IT!!! #AzerbaijanGP #RedBullRacing #F1 🏎

[Ally Claire @OhAllyClaire]

#ACCBase - Pressure - Billy Joel

[Ally Claire @OhAllyClaire]

#PGAChamp #PhilTheThrill

[Ally Claire @OhAllyClaire]

@PhilMickelson ... that one was DEFINITELY for @Workday, right? #PGAChampionship

[Ally Claire @OhAllyClaire]

@HardFactorNews - you may not all appreciate it, but I know @HardFactorWes will tip his cap to me for this gem of a tweet 💁🏼‍♀️

[Ally Claire @OhAllyClaire]

Honeymoon Goals 💍 Mr. & Mrs. Crump @ Lexington, Kentucky https://t.co/QqDpZJB3go

[Ally Claire @OhAllyClaire]

If you're not having hot pizza, Cold Beer, and Live Horseracing at your Rehearsal Dinner, you're doing it wrong 🤷🏼‍♀️ #CountdownToCrump @ Mirror Twin Brewing Co https://t.co/VbLegRpYOY

[Ally Claire @OhAllyClaire]

You're never too old to aggravate the absolute shit of your mother 🥰 #CountdownToCrump @ Lexington, Kentucky https://t.co/vQGX8gWTxS

[Ally Claire @OhAllyClaire]

Today was the MOST wonderful day thanks to the MOST amazing people ❤ The #CountdownToCrump wouldnt be the same without my best friends by my side 🥰 @mscrump0720 and I are beyond blessed @ Lexington, Kentucky https://t.co/EXuutuayWm

[Ally Claire @OhAllyClaire]

Anyone: **exhales**
@NBA: thats gonna be a TECHNICAL FOUL

#Sportz @ESPNNBA @NBATV