Durt MaGurt

Carbon based, cannabis fueled, He/Him, Starfleet dropout, Life DM. I also have a bad feeling about this...

[mr_eggs @scrumble_eggs]

I hope Tim is having a good pride month.

[Anonymous @YourAnonNews]

You wanna see how dumb MAGA is? Watch this. Kyle Clark of 9 News Colorado taking out the fucking trash. 🗑️

[UltraNosk @UltraNosk]

Mulan for Americans

[MJdowntheshore @MJdowntheshore]

Big pussy got grabbed by a strong woman.

[Democrats @TheDemocrats]

Happy National Best Friends Day

[Real American @ecofishsex]

Brave enough to do this but not brave enough to drink out of the same drinking fountain as a black guy

[Adam Mockler @adammocklerr]

If every Democrat were this good at politics, we'd win all 50 states.

[Anonymous @YourAnonNews]

Dumb fucknuts

[𝕷𝖚𝖈𝖎𝖋𝖊𝖗 @LucifersTweetz]

Good thing y’all didn’t elect an emotional woman. 😂

[Timothy Johnson @MiamiCanes1971]

The British being unprepared to perform on American soil has been a tradition since 1776

[Johnny Midnight ⚡️ @its_The_Dr]

He was pissed. 😂🤣

[kit 🍋 @sourkrowt]

so my best friend sent me this song that Tyra Banks made herself for a dystopian young adult book she wrote over a decade ago and i'm being so serious i think she officially made the worst song of all time

[Pablo Torre 👀 @PabloTorre]

James Dolan invited his friend Donald Trump to watch Game 3. In order to do that, they have to ban the organic, historically joyous parties happening outside MSG for fans who can't afford to be inside. Modern sports in a nutshell

[Blue Georgia @BlueGeorgia]

Kyle Clark asked Colorado GOP candidate for governor Victor Marx whether voters should believe he’s lived "one of the most extraordinary lives in human history," or whether he’s "a liar and a fraud."

John Oliver: “That might be the first event in history won by the moderator.”

[swich ✧ @swichski]

his opponent saw this and locked in

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

I loan it out in June.

[Great White North 🍁🇨🇦 @MadeInCanada_eh]

🔊🔊🔊”New York hates you” -New Yorkers in front of Trump Tower
Imagine what they will chant at the Knicks game 😅
#knicks 🏀⛹️