Tim Simmonds

Full time Dad ❤ Part time streamer 🎮 All round sports fan ⚽️🏏🏈⛳

[Tim Simmonds @OldManTim89]

So that's how it feels to be a winning football manager!! Absolutely buzzing!! Work to do but a great start to the season! #GTLFC ⚽🍊

[Tim Simmonds @OldManTim89]

@AndyRobsonTips This worth a shirt?? Took over B36 on Football Manager after following you with the aim of dominating Faroese football and hopefully Europe!
Lost in 2 Conference League finals but safe to say we were the best team in the Faroe Islands!

[Simply Spurs @Simply_Spurs]

James Maddison in the Sky studios after listening to Jamie Carragher rip into Mo Salah for 15 minutes straight

[Tim Simmonds @OldManTim89]

@oddzowen @Jamie_E135 @LukeyTrotty

[Lorcán Thorpe @lorcan_thorpe]

Not bad for a day’s work

Rest in Peace Tim, my hero🕊️

#TheChase

[Tim Simmonds @OldManTim89]

Came for a fight. 1 sent off. 3 off injured. Beaten by a teenager 🤐🤫 #nufcliv

[Out of Context Football Manager @nocontextfm1]

If this is my Football Manager save:

- Banish to reserves
- Train as a goalkeeper
- Double intensity training
- Friendly every three days for reserves vs u18s
- Buy lots of young players with 18 aggression and 5 decisions to play against him
- Set them all to tackle hard

[Crystal Palace F.C. @CPFC]

Winners only.

#CPFC // #LIVCRY

[steve @bagshaw2112]

Be careful today #snow

It snowed last night...
8:00 am: I made a snowman.

8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.

8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.

8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up .

8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.

8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45 - TV news crew from BBC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.

9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.

9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.

By noon it all melted

Moral:

There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become, all because of snowflakes

[Dicky Sam @Davolaar]

😂🤣😂🤣😂

[Tim Simmonds @OldManTim89]

Offside by a toenail, handball by a fingernail 2 minutes later.

Football is brutal
#GERDEN

[Mark 🇬🇭 @TheBoySeggy]

Should’ve been one of the greatest moments in FA cup history, but some bloke sat in a booth near the M4 with a fancy protractor said nah, your big toe is too big. Fcuk VAR & everyone who thinks it’s been good for this game #FaCup

[Tim Simmonds @OldManTim89]

Klopp's Kids beat Billion Pound Bottle Jobs!! ❤️

[Liverpool FC @LFC]

WE ARE THE CARABAO CUP WINNERS!!!!!!! 😍

[Tim Simmonds @OldManTim89]

🥺

[Liverpool FC @LFC]

A message to Liverpool supporters from Jürgen Klopp.

[Liverpool FC @LFC]

A message to Liverpool supporters from Jürgen Klopp.

[Biggies Malls 2.0 @Biggies_MaIIs]

EXCLUSIVE FULL AUDIO FROM NUNEZ & PEP CLASH!

[HLTCO @HLTCO]

That noise Gary Neville makes when he’s not sure about a decision sounds like he’s just gone to make a sandwich and found mould on the bread.

[Jacob Price @JakePrice1927]

Me when I just need the Ryanair to Malaga to be delayed for my acca

[Des @libertine95]

What a start to the holiday that would be. Sitting watching the departure board like Gillette Soccer Saturday shouting I just need KLM to Amsterdam for £200.

[Liverpool FC @LFC]

We have completed the signing of midfielder Ryan Gravenberch from Bayern Munich on a long-term contract, subject to a work permit. 🙌

[Liverpool FC @LFC]

Welkom to the Reds! 🤩🔴