Devon Butler

Pokemon player Unicorn tamer chronic procrastinator

[Devon Butler @OldeDevon800]

@drewbyers13

[Devon Butler @OldeDevon800]

Walked into the bank lobby to deposit my yearly bonus and got the teller’s number. Imagine her surprise when we pull up to Taco Bell for the first date.

[Devon Butler @OldeDevon800]

I can’t believe you’re not dead yet.

[Devon Butler @OldeDevon800]

@glorypopgnash You prolly need a psych evaluation

[Devon Butler @OldeDevon800]

I like ppl who don’t like ppl.

[Devon Butler @OldeDevon800]

@duck0925 Looking forward to seeing you too. It’ll be a grand time.

[Devon Butler @OldeDevon800]

@duck0925

[Devon Butler @OldeDevon800]

Pickle pouch or banana hammock?

[Devon Butler @OldeDevon800]

I’ll never make it cuz I can’t fake it.

[Devon Butler @OldeDevon800]

Does anyone refer to their chiropractor as their crack dealer?

[Devon Butler @OldeDevon800]

I had to shampoo, condition, stop, collaborate and listen.

[Devon Butler @OldeDevon800]

Still remembering the time I applied to Taco Bell and failed the entrance exam. Some ppl just aren’t cut out to be taco engineers.

[Devon Butler @OldeDevon800]

You’ve only got one life. Fuck it up a little. Smoke crack with a stranger. Host an orgy on a work night. Fistfight in Walmart. You won’t.

[Devon Butler @OldeDevon800]

If anyone would like lessons on how to piss away your potential by playing in rock bands hmu

[Devon Butler @OldeDevon800]

I’m a stoned mystic lookin like an all American dipshit but I’m overstocked on wit.

[Devon Butler @OldeDevon800]

I’m never gonna make it. I’m just having fun but what fun is target practice without a loaded gun.

[Devon Butler @OldeDevon800]

I’ve got all this weed and no time to smoke it. All these boners and no time to stroke it. All these stories and no time to bullshit.

[Devon Butler @OldeDevon800]

I believe everything I see and read on the internet.

[Devon Butler @OldeDevon800]

Just winging it and singing shit.

[Devon Butler @OldeDevon800]

Smart enough to know I never had a chance. Dumb enough to keep trying.