honeydew melon

(hamster dance starts playing) dibidi ba deyda do do di ba didido

[honeydew melon @OmarConfirmed]

@aggressivechive Hey chive can you help me with some homework

[honeydew melon @OmarConfirmed]

@aggressivechive I quit, find another lawyer

[honeydew melon @OmarConfirmed]

Im sick of these tiktok challenges ?!?! 😤😤😤 “Heal your inner child”??? Nah I’m gonna beat my kids!!!

[honeydew melon @OmarConfirmed]

@dummymatrix I have it turned on where it opens up a “save as” window whenever I click download

[honeydew melon @OmarConfirmed]

@DCameronMay Like you give a little speech to a great white shark on shark week 🔥🔥🦈🦈💯💯💯

[honeydew melon @OmarConfirmed]

Why is no one talking about the enormous ball of fire in the sky

[honeydew melon @OmarConfirmed]

Whyd my doctor type “💀” in my medical chart

[honeydew melon @OmarConfirmed]

Hate when dudes say something factually false and then call you “defensive” when you correct it bro I will smack your ass so hard a genie will come out and sing a song

[honeydew melon @OmarConfirmed]

Did standup comedy in Canada by just explaining the filibuster

[honeydew melon @OmarConfirmed]

Luigis mansion has such poor game design, why would a mansion have this many fire code violations

[honeydew melon @OmarConfirmed]

Dudes who say “a relationship won’t fix all your problems” ain’t been dating my girl checks out

[honeydew melon @OmarConfirmed]

Mfers be like “im gonna run to the restroom real quick” and then walk

[honeydew melon @OmarConfirmed]

I interned at tesla and my job was to dispose the bodies

[honeydew melon @OmarConfirmed]

Ugh cant find the mysterious pill I left near my baby

[honeydew melon @OmarConfirmed]

Had to send my girl to obedience camp

[honeydew melon @OmarConfirmed]

4th dimension dudes be like Mr President they hit the stellated dodecahedron

[honeydew melon @OmarConfirmed]

Governor Abbott, they/them hit the pentagon

[honeydew melon @OmarConfirmed]

Gonna be buying myself things for the next two weeks just to run my girlfriend out of birthday present ideas