38 doesn’t feel like an arrival. It feels like alignment.
The last two years asked me to face myself, alchemize what I found, and redefine who I am outside of systems that once shaped me.
staying connected to myself is the priority.
There are good things ahead. 🤍
@Melo_Malebo As the daughter of a single Dad, this is a big generalization and uncharacteristic of the other examples of single fathers I knew through men’s groups my Dad formed/attended for support.
@RobertGreene Most people quit in the slow phase.
When effort is high and results are low.
That’s the tuition.
Push through long enough and effort starts paying interest.
What feels heavy today becomes leverage tomorrow.
Compounding only rewards the consistent.
Call me old fashioned, but I think you can get pretty far in life by just finishing things. The world is full of half-written books, half-built businesses, and half-kept promises. You stand out by closing loops. By doing what you said you’d do. By having the courage to finish.
@missjillscott
At first, I was disappointed in the Jill Scott album.
Like a petulant child, I wanted the big, broad, long notes. The vocal acrobatics. The variation. On first listen, it fell flat against my expectations.
Something I kinda always knew but was confirmed last year is that you can't be what you can't see. Look for ways to make your world bigger. Travel, read, befriend larger than life people.
And let the record show *in my Claire Huxtable vc*
Ppl who are actively trying to be their best in life & actively trying to integrate their talents, interests and values into ways they can impact the world around them are IN the field. They are living.
Get off autopilot.
Ppl who say: “Oh she just does stuff for attention”, or “she just wants to make herself seem xyz”
Have just remixed: “she think shes all that”
Both are rooted in jealousy and hate and insecurity.
Hope this helps!
When I was younger, in my 20s, I assumed that everyone was working "hard," meaning a solid 35 hours of work a week. Especially, say, university professors and professional engineers.
I'd feel terribly guilty when I would be messing around, playing video games on a workday.
Today I realize that most people become very adept at avoiding actual work. And the people you think are working really hard are often just very good at focusing on what is externally visible. They show up to the right meetings but unashamedly avoid the hard work.
It ends up being visible to the people "who know." Why? Because working hard is how you acquire actual expertise. And lack of actual expertise ends up being visible... but only to those who have the relevant expertise.
And the effect compounds. The difference between someone who has honed their skills for 20 years and someone who has merely showed up to the right meetings becomes enormous.
And so, we end up with huge competency gaps between people who are in their 30s, 40s, 50s. It becomes night and day.
An excerpt from my substack:
"The world made room
for the audacity of a man
in the body of a woman,
green to nuance,
oblivious to the barbs hidden
in backhanded jokes or territorial smiles.
A stranger to the silent negotiations
between women
that live between the lines"