Onyii

Warning: don't follow me, my tweets will offend you!

[Onyii @Onyiibazz]

Show kindness to only those who deserve it instead of wasting it on ingrates.

[Onyii @Onyiibazz]

Highest number of petty criminals per capita on earth.

But when you mention it, some idiots will say, "but there are worse scammers in XYZ country. We are just loud."

Show me any other country with this incredible number of people doing nothing but fraud.

[Uncle Ruckus @Emarged]

Observe with me….

[Onyii @Onyiibazz]

@nzemmili Wahala.

[Onyii @Onyiibazz]

@Stazingar Not just brick layers, most people who do jobs that make them physically active.

I go to my village sometimes and I see some of them.

[Onyii @Onyiibazz]

@Eddie_thekingg @Ilerioluwakiye_ Please how is the battery life?

[Onyii @Onyiibazz]

My instincts hardly fail me.

When that guy started posting about helping people get Visa, I was the very first person who called him out that he was only going to end up scamming people.

As there is no such thing as guaranteed Visa.

Well. Here we are.

[Nze @nzemmili]

Who knows the person behind echidime travels? He has scammed a lot of people. If you can include his name and transactions, please do.

[Nze @nzemmili]

Don't listen to this, this person is a scammer, and has been scamming people for visa.

[Onyii @Onyiibazz]

@OoTheNigerian Man has never held a day job all his adult life.

[Nze @nzemmili]

I don’t think there’s any way I’ve not lived. I remember as a teenager, some novels were describing backpacking in a way that it was centred around Eastern and Central Europe because they were cheaper.

Guess who did that in the first month I got to the EU? Me😂. I moved from Berlin to Warsaw by train, enjoyed it for 3 days, then moved to Riga, Latvia, cos it was closer by bus, and from there, I went to the Goth city, Prague, Czech Republic.

I also remember going hiking in the Eastern Region of Ghana because I paid for one cheap-ass Airbnb almost on a mountain (I didn’t know ahead of time) during one of my yearly ECOWAS trips. That got me introduced to hiking, and since then, I’ve hiked in almost every country I’ve stayed in for up to 6 months.

Or is it when I went to Bukovel, Ukraine for the so-called skiing that I knew I would’ve been dead if not for the little accident I saw one dude have there, so I borrowed sense for myself. I have never been so cold and scared in my life before. I’ll still try it. Probably in Bulgaria, because I’ve watched a lot about Bansko.

Then I remember when I was bored, I searched for a rave party because I saw it on my Instagram timeline (my first time seeing such a party), and guess what? The party was in an abandoned bunker on the outskirts of Kyiv! It was actually the best party I’ve had, though it was filled with drugs and druggies who would easily tell you their entire life story, despite meeting you for the first time. I also joined the group I met there for another underground rave in Gdansk, Poland, for one of the craziest raves I’ve ever had. Since I got introduced to raves, I’ve been to rave parties and festivals in at least 8 different countries, and they were all in forests or on the outskirts of major cities or towns.

Or is it my first trip out of Nigeria? It was 2011, so I was probably 14/15. I left home for PH, stayed in an uncompleted building for three days, then found a job at a restaurant owned by a Bonny woman. She called me Upper Iweka, spoke Igbo to me, but sternly shunned me when I asked her if she’s Igbo, instead of explaining it to me. It was not funny. 😂 So, I met a Cameroonian at that restaurant whom I pleaded with to carry me to Cameroon to visit when he wanted to visit his country (he lived in PH). Anyway, the dude came back a month later and took me to Cameroon. We spent a week in Bamenda, and that was when I got introduced to their “hot pot potato porridge.” That porridge is the best potato meal I’ve ever had. I met a Cameroonian friend in Kyiv who cooked it for me with cow tongue, and I’ve never gone back.

Another of my best experiences was when I raved in a mountainous area in Spain called the Pyrenees. I followed some Dutch guys, and a Nigerian-Dutch guy whose dad is Dutch and whose mom is from Edo State, to one of the craziest rave festivals I’ve ever had. Mind you, I met those people at a party hostel I was staying at in Barcelona. Those days were when we were more energetic.

Or is it in my early twenties when I joined one of those Kenya group tours, got to Nairobi, and the tour group was crazy because I had never met such stingy travellers before, so I booked my flight to Kampala, Uganda, to fulfil my dream of listening to Runtown’s song with Wizkid (“Lagos to Kampala”). I can’t forget the juicy nights I had in Uganda, and I also got to know women who drank crazier amounts of alcohol than me. So basically, they finished my bottles, but that night was worth it. They made my stay enjoyable and showed me the city more than I could’ve explored on my own. A similar thing happened to me again in Nairobi when I got back, and that took me to Kibera Slum, the largest slum I’ve ever seen in my entire existence. It’s a whole new world on its own.

[Onyii @Onyiibazz]

@owazo @OgbajiIfeanyi @iykimo He knows competence is not what wins presidential elections in Nigeria.

[Onyii @Onyiibazz]

@Nky_bahibey Let's be real please. If you are a man and your 9 year old daughter comes back from school one day to ask you why all her friends have a mother. And she doesn't seem to have a mother, how do you answer that?

[Onyii @Onyiibazz]

I want a kid or two. Mostly daughters.

But I don't want to get married. And I also don't want baby mama drama.

So I'm kinda stuck as I have not figured out how to navigate things from here.

I really can't tolerate living with a woman long term.

[Onyii @Onyiibazz]

@Nky_bahibey I am really considering the child, to be honest. It will be very awkward for the child. And they may also face bullying.

[Onyii @Onyiibazz]

@Nky_bahibey Yes, I have thought about that. See my earlier response below.

https://t.co/DAmcYyaCUl

[Onyii @Onyiibazz]

Then she becomes an angry bird, corrupts the child's mind.

I have been considering surrogacy sha. But I have not figured out how to navigate the social awkwardness.

How do I tell my child when they grow that they have no mother? When all their friends have mothers? I haven't figured out how to navigate that.

[Onyii @Onyiibazz]

@aguneribe Hmm. You no lie sha. I do overthink things...

Well...

[Onyii @Onyiibazz]

Then she becomes an angry bird, corrupts the child's mind.

I have been considering surrogacy sha. But I have not figured out how to navigate the social awkwardness.

How do I tell my child when they grow that they have no mother? When all their friends have mothers? I haven't figured out how to navigate that.

[Onyii @Onyiibazz]

@aguneribe 🤣 🤣

That will be more complicated than just marrying.

[Onyii @Onyiibazz]

Calm down and read.

He is saying that if Nigerians truly voted Buhari because of competence as they claimed, then why are they finding it hard to vote for Peter Obi who is even more competent than Buhari.

So, in his conclusion, it was not because of competence that Nigerians voted for Buhari. It was something else.

[Viper di Aktive @Lady_Na_Master]

Any adult woman who does not want to have a child knows exactly what to do to not have one.

[Onyii @Onyiibazz]

This one na Fulani herdswoman.

[only 1 uzama @KaiUzama]

My mum just reminded me of when my primary school teacher called my parents and reported I was holding students hostage 😭

We received results on a math test & you know how teachers would humiliate people who did poorly? I felt so bad for them so during break time I rounded up all the students that did bad & refused to let them go on lunch break, I decided I was going to start teaching them math *by force* & some kids were crying that they wanted to go and play. I kept asking them why they wanted to play when they were failing. I even recruited a class mate to catch kids that escaped. Omg I was a terrorist 😭

Eventually some students escaped & went to report me to the principal 😔