Vlad

All you need are a couple of long poles and willpower. Southern Man. Author #Vet #AATW #RollTide #WarEagle

[Vlad @OrwellsNotebook]

I have discovered that waking up and calling some retard a retard first thing in the morning enlivens the whole rest of my day.

[Vlad @OrwellsNotebook]

@Jill0608 @MarkWarner @LarrySabato You’re exactly the kind of uninformed outraged low information voter that Mark Warner counts on.

Useful idiot

[Vlad @OrwellsNotebook]

This is art

[Siraj Hashmi @SirajAHashmi]

You know, I was walking through the grocery store the other day because that’s what we do when we’re not sure what we want for dinner but we know we don’t want to cook it and there it was. Right next to the regular pineapples. Somebody had taken a perfectly good pineapple, cut it up into those little spears, and dipped the whole thing in Kool-Aid.

Now, let me ask you something. Did we really need to improve on pineapple? Nature already did a pretty fair job with it. It’s sweet, it’s juicy… but leave it to certain folks to decide it wasn’t colorful enough. You peel it, you eat it, maybe you put a little salt on it if you’re feeling adventurous. But no. Somebody—probably from one of those neighborhoods where the corner store sells more drink mix than actual fruit—looked at that and said, “You know what this needs? Artificial grape flavoring and enough red dye to make it look like it belongs at a backyard cookout in the hood.”

It’s called Kool-Aid Pineapples, apparently. The kids are making them. TikTok is full of them doing their little dances with it. Grandmothers are probably shaking their heads while secretly trying one, saying it reminds them of the good old days before everything got… fancy. You take your pineapple chunks, you dip them in that little packet of powdered sugar and mystery chemicals that used to turn water into something that could wake the dead after Little League practice—or whatever they call it down at the rec center—and suddenly you’ve got something that looks like it was left out in the rain at a block party.

I tried one. Of course I tried one. That’s my job. It tasted like pineapple that had been hanging around the wrong crowd. The kind of pineapple that stays out too late, picks up some loud flavors, and comes home smelling like grape soda and regret. The sugar hits you first, then that artificial taste that doesn’t quite match any fruit known to man unless you grew up on government cheese and purple drink, and then BOOM the pineapple tries to fight back.

Whatever happened to just eating a piece of fruit? We used to trust pineapple. Now we’re dressing it up like it’s going to a junior high dance in the inner city. Next thing you know they’ll be dipping watermelon in Mountain Dew and calling it “fusion cuisine” while blasting music that doesn’t make any sense to the rest of us.

And don’t get me started on the cleanup. That Kool-Aid powder gets everywhere. Your fingers turn colors that don’t exist in nature. Your counter looks like a crime scene from a Saturday night. Your kids’ tongues are blue for three days. All that for something that was already pretty good on its own, before somebody decided it needed “extra flavor.”
You know, I’ve lived a long time. I’ve seen a lot of trends come and go. But I never thought I’d live to see the day when we started putting drink mix on our produce like it was some kind of cultural upgrade.

That’s just the way it is, I guess. Some things improve with age. Pineapples, apparently, improve with Kool-Aid.

I’m Andy Rooney. Thanks for watching.

[Vlad @OrwellsNotebook]

@UCCavalier @HardPass4 @shashj

[Vlad @OrwellsNotebook]

@aravosis

[Lloyd Legalist @LloydLegalist]

Corporate America every June.

[Vlad @OrwellsNotebook]

@tanpukunokami Apparently there is a rope shortage. It’s really the only thing that makes sense.

[Vlad @OrwellsNotebook]

@FloraLuzz_

[Vlad @OrwellsNotebook]

@royermattw

[Vlad @OrwellsNotebook]

@wayofftheres

[Vlad @OrwellsNotebook]

There is special place in hell and it is dutiful to send them there

[Insider Paper @TheInsiderPaper]

NEW: A recently unearthed study has set off a tidal wave of outrage after scientists claimed it was 'morally' justifiable to infect people with a virus making them allergic to meat — Daily Mail

[Insider Paper @TheInsiderPaper]

NEW: A recently unearthed study has set off a tidal wave of outrage after scientists claimed it was 'morally' justifiable to infect people with a virus making them allergic to meat — Daily Mail

[✳️Ⓐ Armed Joy 🔫💣 @ArmedJ0y]

So an army of you all fucked the same weird twitter girl and now she's posting all your bullshit to the timeline.

[Vlad @OrwellsNotebook]

@SenSanders You’re so fucking retarded

[Vlad @OrwellsNotebook]

@TheDemocrats Fuck off

[Anglo Restoration 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 @AngloRestore]

This is going to be a great White Boy Summer

[Vlad @OrwellsNotebook]

@chron

[Hugh Janis @Hugh_Janiz]

Ok this is pretty funny.

[Vlad @OrwellsNotebook]

Things should be burning

[First Squawk @FirstSquawk]

FOREIGN-BORN WORKERS ACCOUNTED FOR ABOUT 90% OF NEW U.S. JOBS CREATED SINCE COVID, ACCORDING TO BLS DATA

[Vlad @OrwellsNotebook]

@HumzaYousaf Go fuck yourself