Celeb Spotting

Outing the great and the good in their ludicrous, unusual, and frankly completely fabricated pursuits.

[Celeb Spotting @OutInPublic]

Spotted! Venus Williams glueing a terrapin to a magistrate's telephone to prevent him calling a premium-rate anchovy lovers hotline.

[Celeb Spotting @OutInPublic]

Spotted! Clive Owen touching a hamster's eye with the tip of his tongue. They say it cures gout... Can Clive rid himself of his curse?

[Celeb Spotting @OutInPublic]

Spotted! Billy Crystal tying a sparrow to a garden gate made of mushroom vol au vents while Eric Cantona flicks Skittles at a camel's face.

[Celeb Spotting @OutInPublic]

Spotted! Michael Moore and Sandi Toksvig in a Tungsten canoe, chasing the lead singer of The Housemartins to retrieve their indigo trumpet.

[Celeb Spotting @OutInPublic]

Spotted! JK Rowling sprinkling icing sugar onto a ceramic tiger before donning a welding mask and fighting identity theft amongst pigeons.

[Celeb Spotting @OutInPublic]

Spotted! Robin Williams weeping softly as he undresses in front of a perspiring yet strangely indifferent Bjorn Borg. No love games here!

[Celeb Spotting @OutInPublic]

Spotted! John McCririck removing a golden pomegranate from a dinosaur's eye in a frankly unfathomable tribute to Chaka Demus & Pliers.

[Celeb Spotting @OutInPublic]

Spotted! Paul Hardcastle performing a Riverdance on the stomach of a 50-foot reclining statue of Patricia Routledge. N-n-nineteen, Onslow!

[Celeb Spotting @OutInPublic]

Spotted! A naked Phill Jupitus running through Inverness, manhood masked by ring donuts, screaming "I AM MR KIPLING" at passing shoppers.

[Celeb Spotting @OutInPublic]

Spotted! Bruce Willis jousting with a koi carp, riding a block of haloumi cheese and swearing in French. Terry Christian was NOT impressed.

[Celeb Spotting @OutInPublic]

Spotted! Aled Jones on a tightrope suspended thirty metres above the centre of Totnes, dropping marshmallows into the eyes of Tim Minchin.

[Celeb Spotting @OutInPublic]

Spotted! Andy Murray shaving a large number eight into his chest hair. His body is the venue for the 2011 Scalextric World Championships.

[Celeb Spotting @OutInPublic]

Spotted! Rory McIlroy on a toboggan in Exeter, chasing down a trio of polystyrene marmosets who have stolen his inflatable moustache.

[Celeb Spotting @OutInPublic]

Spotted! Russell Crowe singing football anthems in Dutch to bamboozle the Great Soprendo. Pif Paf Pof!

[Celeb Spotting @OutInPublic]

Spotted! An emotionless Ricky Tomlinson using chopsticks and turps to debunk the myth that giant pandas enjoy pay-per-view wrestling events.

[Celeb Spotting @OutInPublic]

Spotted! Harriet Harman, wearing wellies and a snood, attempting to breakdance while being pelted with spoonfuls of couscous by Todd Carty.

[Celeb Spotting @OutInPublic]

Spotted! David Dickinson saluting a bag of Spanish onions as a sign of respect for those that died in Call of Duty 4.

[Celeb Spotting @OutInPublic]

Spotted! Dave Mustaine playing Monopoly with Frankie Boyle, a bronze sleeping bag, and a Faberge egg. Dave is the top hat!

[Celeb Spotting @OutInPublic]

Spotted! Rupert Grint and Shirley Bassey arm-wrestling for marshmallows in a teepee made from feta cheese on the beach in Aberystwyth.

[Celeb Spotting @OutInPublic]

Spotted! Richard Hammond advising a cement mixer how to win back the love of a disgruntled Liam Neeson. Forgive the mixer, Liam! It's sorry!