Paul_Blart

Winner. Patriot. Outlaw.

[Paul_Blart @PBlart77927]

Deny, deny, dui.

[Paul_Blart @PBlart77927]

Donuts, the sun, beer. Top 3 things in life maybe. What do yall think could crack that top three? That’s a mad good top three. #blartthoughts

[Paul_Blart @PBlart77927]

@ismellpenniegld Blart hit you with the trifecta on this one Mr Goldstein. Like, comment, and repost! Great X!

[Abraham Goldstein @ismellpenniegld]

KC Conception is like the Martha Stewart of Elton John’s

[Paul_Blart @PBlart77927]

@ismellpenniegld Oh hell no.

[Paul_Blart @PBlart77927]

@ismellpenniegld @lizzo Welcome.

[Paul_Blart @PBlart77927]

@Tylerdacre19991 Tremendous

[Paul_Blart @PBlart77927]

@Tylerdacre19991 Probably will be named something retarded too like Pheonix or Richard or LeBron. Nothing worse than a bad name. That is, nothing other than soup, obviously. #blart.

[Paul_Blart @PBlart77927]

@Tylerdacre19991 Dr. Balls, Blart could not agree more. Worst part is, if they ever figure out how to conceive, you know that child will have 4 fingers 17 toes and a piercing on every extra lump of skin gods created, and believe me, that child will have a lot of extra skin.

[Paul_Blart @PBlart77927]

@LS5316285420316 - Blart.

[Paul_Blart @PBlart77927]

@LS5316285420316 Dick,
This account makes me depressed. You could only dream of achieving blarts legendary burner status. Keep trying tho, it’s like Gretzky said: “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”. Unfortunately Blart says that YOU, specifically, will miss 100% of the shots you do take.

[NBA on ESPN @ESPNNBA]

Name a random NBA player ⤵️

[Paul_Blart @PBlart77927]

Aaron Glenn on the sideline:

[Paul_Blart @PBlart77927]

Put Aaron Glenn’s brain in John Wilkes booth and Lincoln would’ve lived til he was 90

[Paul_Blart @PBlart77927]

Liam Coen watches 60 hours of film a week to prepare for games meanwhile Aaron Glenn struggles to read the White Castle menu on Sunday mornings

[Paul_Blart @PBlart77927]

Aaron Glenn trying to use Kenyon sadiqs 40 time to gain 30 yards

[RagingDissident_ @JustRaging01]

Highly skilled migrant attempts to use a first world escalator.

[Paul_Blart @PBlart77927]

Was gonna make a joke about how Aaron Glenn read the 2022 overtime rules, but then I remembered he can’t read

[Paul_Blart @PBlart77927]

Yo @Connor_J_Hughes please ask Aaron Glenn how many mass shooters there have been in America in the last 10 years I’m tryna see something

[Paul_Blart @PBlart77927]

“Is it in you” is such a risky slogan for Gatorade

[Paul_Blart @PBlart77927]

@EdselFord1903 Electric. Just missing #blart