Pedro Calarge

[Pedro Calarge @PCalarge]

@babellanas @pedroquieregati

[Pedro Calarge @PCalarge]

@lawnamiiiii @pedroquieregati brook 💀💀💀💀💀💀

[Pedro Calarge @PCalarge]

@braiazx @pedroquieregati alguém arruma um emprego pra esse cara pqp

[DiscussingFish @DiscussingFish]

New looks at 'SPIDER-MAN: BRAND NEW DAY'.

In theaters on July 31. #CinemaCon

[Didi ⋆˚👽 ꩜｡ @korapaikagens]

Imagina vc ter três canais que juntos te dão aproximadamente 10 milhões de inscritos e deixar OS TRÊS logados numa tv de arbnb TNCCCCC

[Pedro Calarge @PCalarge]

@bubbleboi @pedroquieregati @Filipitos280 absorvendo conhecimento

[Pedro Calarge @PCalarge]

@yozahir @pedroquieregati

[Wanderjegson @wanderjegson]

Mahoraga deadass adapted to slander

[delty @DeltyThe73rd]

IM CRYING I just read a comment saying "blender gotta be the only community where the beginners impress the pros" LMFAOOO

DID HE JUST CREATE LIFE???

[Oliur @UltraLinx]

Can you read 900 words per minute? Try it.

[Storyteller Lemmy @LemmySmackett]

"Hey, Dad?"

"Yes, son?"

"I have a question."

"A question, huh? Why not ask the AI?"

"It's a little embarrassing."

"That's what AI is great for, son. Every sensitive, shame-inducing, potentially reputation-destroying query is securely kept between you, the soulless superintelligence, the soulless megacorp charging twenty a month for access to the soulless superintelligence, and the United States government, which ruled via court order that all logs—"

"Dad! I want to ask a human, okay?"

"Hm?"

"It's about a girl—

"Ah."

"—in my class."

"Looking for some old school fatherly advice then."

"Yeah, sure."

"Well son, listen. When a man and a woman love each other very much, and they feel a desperate, aching need to get the State involved before engaging in passionate coital congress—"

"Oh, I already know about the birds and the beedrills, Dad. I learned all about it on a—"

"Son, if you say 'a Pokémon discord in the fifth grade', I'm gonna gouge my eyes out."

"Er, Wikipedia. I learned about it on a Wikipedia."

"Great. Well, there's no harm in that, son. It's only natural to be curious about our normal biological—"

"Actually, it was a yabai horsegirl Roblox VTuber discord in the fourth."

"God dammit."

"Dad, when you like a girl, what do you do? Like how do you start?"

"Why don't you go ask WhinnyNeighNeigh-chan?"

"Dad, I'm serious."

"You go up and talk to her, son."

"Okay but before that."

"Before that?"

"I'm just paralyzed by all the options."

"Ah, you mean how to open. Well son, you know my deeply treasured hard-cover signed copy of Neil Strauss' The Game is on the living room shelf, whenever you need it."

"Yeah, I flipped through the whole thing and I didn't see anything about covering her in Saran wrap and baby oil."

"Say what?"

"My friend Doug says that before you ask a girl out, you should use AI to generate a hundred images of her wrapped and oiled—"

"Uh."

"—and bent over on the hood of a Waymo."

"Son, I don't think you should do any of that."

"No?"

"No, that's fucked up. And I'm pretty sure it violates multiple anti-deepfake personal likeness protection laws at the state and federal level."

"Well how am I—"

"And it's fucked up."

"How am I supposed to know if I like her?"

"By talking to her."

"Doug says you can't trust anything a woman says."

"I mean, yeah, but—"

"That's why any time he gets a crush on a girl, he generates a thousand images of her getting railed by roided-out black bulls."

"Uh, cuck bulls or actual bull bulls?"

"Cuck bulls, Dad."

"Right, okay."

"Come on."

"I was thrown off by WhinnyNeighNeigh-chan."

"Doug says that once you generate the images, you can immediately look in her AI-synthesized eyes and tell if she's the kind of girl who's going to cheat on you."

"With a room full of roided-out black guys."

"Uh huh."

"Okay, first off, your friend is a porn-fried gooner with a D-tier fetish."

"I knew it."

"Secondly, has Doug ever found a loyal woman using this highly scientific method of his?"

"Well, no. He says they're all BBC addicts and they just don't know it yet."

"Okay."

"Like pre-diabetics. But for brown cock."

"Okay. Now what's more likely: every girl in your class has a latent, atavistic desire to get gang-banged by a mob of Terry Crews stunt doubles or Doug doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about."

"Uh, Doug doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about?"

"There you go."

"Okay, but what do I do about 𝘮𝘺 girl?"

"Talk to her!"

"That sounds hard."

"Look, do you have her Snap or whatever?"

"I got her number from a friend."

"Great, just hit her up and shoot your shot."

"My shot?"

"Yeah, make it a date. Something fun. Lower pressure."

"Okay. Oh! What if I generate an image of me and her all dressed up, iced up and blinged out in a Bugatti—"

"Son."

"—and I text it to her with 'Could be us, but u playin'?"

"Son, that's worse than the racially-charged cuck shit."
---
[m][title: The Talk (2025 Edition)]

[Pedro Calarge @PCalarge]

@KHDLuffy @pedroquieregati

[Pedro Calarge @PCalarge]

@shahabBilal12 @pedroquieregati

[Ashley Reese @offbeatorbit]

The way I was wheezing with tears streaming down my face the fist time I watched this

[Pedro Calarge @PCalarge]

@sandman_AP @pedroquieregati quem q é esse cara vei kkkkkkkkkkkkkk

[Pedro Calarge @PCalarge]

@OgHumanTripod @pedroquieregati

[Pedro Calarge @PCalarge]

@BrandonRStreams @pedroquieregati isso aqui é maravilhoso

[Pedro Calarge @PCalarge]

@longstosee @Filipitos280 @pedroquieregati candia moment pprt

[CEO of sabolaw @jeaganart]

I had another idea for an unfunny joke I wanted to draw

#yamace #sabolaw #onepiece

[Pedro Calarge @PCalarge]

É véspera de prova e o professor ta a 40 minutos falando sobre tudo menos a matéria