they stopped blaming their parents. their ex. their childhood. not because none of it hurt, but because they figured out they're the only one who can fix it now. the day you own your part is the day you get your power back.
Somewhere in your 20s or 30s you'll get the opportunity to rebuild your life after a negative loop, heal from what broke you, live in your own space, reconnect with your discipline, and learn to love yourself again. It's very important that you see that journey through.